Try something new and different in life

        I think following a particular set of rules is through your life because every other person is doing it is boring. I believe it is okay to switch things up once in a while. According to Will-I-Am of black eyed peas in the song "let's get retarded"  he said

   "Loose the inhibition, follow your intuition, free your inner soul and break away from tradition".
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: I know he plays but I just can't leave him

Hello Ralph,
        I am writing with a heavy heart and so much confusion built up inside me. I and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years now and January 7th will make us 6 years. Saying that I am in love with m man would be an understatement. We are really close and we make the best couple ever, most of my friends envy me but it is because they don't know what I have to endure to be in this relationship. You see before I met my man he was dating another woman but was coming after me. I wasn't giving in at first but one day when I went out with a couple of my friends to the club I met him again and he was really on my case. He's girlfriend was in the club and he took me to he's car where we got talking and one thing led to the other we started making out. We didn't stop there,
Let's do this! »

Q&A: Should a woman contribute financially

Q: So Mr Ralph, I have read through your blog and can't help but notice the rising level of issues concerning relationships and money. So It crossed my mind to ask you your opinion on something that I have had an argument with my friends over. I personally think that a man should provide financially for he's home and that whatever the woman makes should be kept for her to take care of herself and her family. A couple of my male friends don't agree with me but I know it's because they are guys and they just don't like the fact I feel they should bear all the financial burden. So in your opinion, who do you think should take care of a homes financial needs.
Let's do this! »

The beginning is always harder

         I got some sense talked into me just recently. Let me share a little experience I had two days ago with you guys.
          I opened this blog on October 2nd 2014 which was just last month beginning. I make sure to put something on it everyday to keep my readers interested. But my main aim has always been to help people out and coupled with the fact that I love writing. So I do my best to help people out as much as I can while knowing that I will never have all the answers to all the questions. I keep on trying my best to at least show that I care and hope that even if I don't solve a persons problems that my show of care would help. If you notice about two days ago I slowed down a little and put up only 3 posts. But what you all don't know is that I was almost giving up.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: What do you do with a man that sulks a lot

Dear Ralph,
       I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months. He is a great guy and all but my major problem with him is that he is always moody and looking for pity. Every little thing that happens puts him in a sad mood and he just makes this really annoying face and goes to one corner. At the beginning I thought that he was just having a hard time but now I am beginning to understand that he just loves pity. It's always how this happened to him and the other one happened. No matter how insignificant it might be he just carries a long face for days around and when we even speak on the phone he pulls my own mood down. It is really getting pathetic and I don't want to start thinking about just leaving him. The attitude is really annoying.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: Guy problems

Good day Mr Ralph,
           Please I really need your advice because i'm confused about the next step to take in my relationship. I met a guy on a social network and we started talking,chatting and all that. Then he opened up to me that he wants a relationship with me, at first I neglected it because I felt he had someone but he told me that they broke up for long and I accepted. So we started a relationship together, he is a very nice and caring guy, jovial, always makes me happy, so simple and humble, I do visit him and his friends like me being with him. Things were moving on very well with us and I started loving this guy so deeply. After 3 months everything changed, he reduced calling and chatting like before. I mostly do the checking up on him asking him what's happening that he has changed, he kept telling me that it was nothing.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: My friend took him from me.

Good day Raphael,
             I have a big issue that has been really troubling me and I really need advice in handling the situation rationally because I don't know if I can take this insult. I met my boyfriend 3 years ago when we where still in school and we started dating shortly after that. He asked me out and I decided to give it a try because I had been single for a very long time. I usually don't easily give in to relationships but I thought what the heck, why not just give it a go this time. So we started dating and everything was fine, like a usual couple we have our fights and arguments but we usually make up. We had a big fight one day shortly after we left school and that was how everything started.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: I'm dissapointed in my husband

Hello Mr Ralph,
       I need your help here, I got married July this year and I am heavily pregnant but my husband does not give me any food, money or even gifts. We work in the same company and that was where I met him. I just found out that he lied to me about where he stays. You see he is living on a friends property, he has no household property of he's own. Is this fair? Once I deliver my baby I plan on leaving him. I cannot continue this way. This whole thing has killed my urge for him in the bedroom. I feel irritated each time he tries to come close to me.
Let's do this! »

Fitness Fact: Vegetables for muscle

  There is a misconception that eating vegetables would help you build muscle. It might be traced back to the whole Popeye and eating spinach to get incredible muscles like him and knock over huge bearded men that are two times your size with a swing of the arm. But in reality the fact is that as much as vegetables contain the necessary minerals and nutrients that are essential in body building. Eating broccoli,spinach,carrots and their close relatives in the food community alone wouldn't quite cut it. You need to implement some muscle training and add plenty of protein to your food calendar to get the toned body you are looking for. Look for lean meat, eggs, beans and other forms of protein also in addition to your veggies.

BlackBerry Channel, Comments & Logo

I just finished setting up my blackberry channel. It is in a way that provides the links to my new post with a little headline so you know what the particular post is about. It is easy and convenient for the bbm users because you can easily skip the posts you aren't interested in and read up on the ones you want. Just search for "ask ralph blog" on the channels section of your bbm and you would find me or you can use the channel pin: C004386EA.

Read on for the Logo design
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: My teenage daughter

Dear Ralph:
        I am a single mother of a beautiful young girl that recently turned a teenager. And dealing with her rebellious nature is getting harder as the days go by. It's like she just grew up so fast overnight and nothing I say now ever matters to her. She is just 14 and she is keeping boyfriends and take an emphasis on the "s".
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: My wife doesn't want my parents in our relationship?

Photo credit: Getty images

Dear Ralph,
         For the 4 years I have been married to my wife, we have had a particular problem that keeps getting more serious each time we argue about it. The thing is that according to her, I involve my parents in any little thing we do. That if we have a fight I go and tell my parent's and then they start shouting at her. She says that I am not trying to help her look good in front of my people and that it is too bad of me. The one that pains me the most is that she always links it to the fact that I am only child and that is why my mum would always side me.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: So should I give her money?

Hello Ralph,
      So I was just going through your blog and came across some issues you have discussed as regards money. I can see that there are some women out there that like me the boyfriends or husbands don't give them money and they are really angry about it. This really got me thinking about my own relationship. You see I and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years plus now. In the course of this relationship I cannot recount a single time that I gave her money. I do buy her thing's though, I help her with hair and gifts and other things like that when I have the money and feel like doing it.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: I want him to notice me

Dear Ralph,
     I am a 3rd year student at UNIZIK. There is this guy I have had my eyes on since our 100 level. He is in the same department as I am. A tall and fair brother with the broadest shoulders and a lean buil, I tell you Ralph I can sit on he's shoulder without caring to if I would fall off. Anyway I have been looking at him since our 1st year but I don't know if he is purposely ignoring me or if he just doesn't notice my presence. I make sure to sit close to he's chair during lectures. I know he has caught me staring a number of times through the years we have spent in school. During assignments and projects that people, have to be paired up in groups, I try my best to fall into he's group. No matter how hard I try to impress him with all the techniques I know without giving myself away, I can't seem to get he's attention.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: Problem at home

Dear Ralph Good afternoon
      
     I have a problem with my husband and I need solution to it. I've been married for 3 years now. He is a good man but the problem started when he’s sis came to leave with us last two years. She tells my husband how to do things even .Ever since she came my husband doesn't provide for the  needs of even our children like clothing and other things.

Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: We want to explore the back door

Hello Ralph,
        I was really excited to find your blog because I have been looking for where to seek advice on a particular problem. Well I don't know which excites me more, finding your blog or the discussion I and my husband have been having. Anyway this is my issue.
       I and the best man in the world have been married for 2 years now. Everything has been great and even the few times we quarrel, we settle it so easily and carry on like nothing ever happened to begin with. He is very loving and caring and when it comes to intimacy he is the best. That aspect of our love life has been really good and he knows how to keep he's woman happy. Now we have been searching ways to spice up our love life in the bedroom and have come up with a couple of suggestions and we also explore different positions. We recently have been contemplating checking out the back door if you know what I mean.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: I talk to myself

Good Morning Ralph,
            I have been reading your blog and I am happy to come across it. I have a problem that I wanted to know if you would be able to help me out with. I usually talk to myself and it is really embarrassing. I am 17 and about to enter the university, I have had to stay away form making friends because I know that people will laugh at me when they notice my character. I actually talk to myself out loud and I know that it is creepy. I really don't know when I act like that, I try my best to have my conversations in my head but before I know what's happening I am talking out loud again and making hand signals as I am walking. I was teased a lot back in secondary school and I am really tired of the habit. There was even a day that I was angry at a person and instead of shouting with the person or confronting the person, I turned around and started shouting as I was walking away. I am really beginning to shy away from the idea of university because I can't afford to carry on like this. It's really bothering me seriously and I need help to get over this habit. Do you think I have a brain problem? I don't know if this can be cured but I really need any input you can give. Thank you in anticipation of your reply. And keep doing good works for people

                 
                                                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                             Anonymous
Let's do this! »

Ralph is Back and Better on BlackBerry!

So as you guys know my blackberry crashed and I couldn't communicate through that means anymore. But I have sorted that out now and I have a new blackberry PIN. I would leave it at the end of this post and also at the side bar where my contact information are. I would also be setting up a blackberry channel soon so that people that don't want to add me can easily relate to me and it'll also be easier to keep up with the blog posts. I am happy to be back. Missed all my blackberry contacts.

And new people, don't be afraid to add up.

BB PIN:2BCC5C38

Dear Ralph: I miss the man I married

Dear Raphael,
             I've been married to my man for the past 5 years and it has been a great marriage so far, I know my problem might not seem so serious but I need any advice I can get. He got this job recently and it's as if he doesn't know I exist anymore. When I am talking to him he just nods and answers with "mhmm". He never hears anything I say anymore, my complaints are brushed aside like they are nothing because of he's excitement for he's new job. This has been going on for four month now. I thought he would get used to the job after about a week and I was patient for him but this has been dragging on for some time now. He is constantly on the phone chatting with he's new colleagues and making plans with them, discussing business and all what not. I feel like now that he has found something exciting in he's life I have just become he's chef and cleaner. I don't feel like I matter anymore and I really want to win he's attention back but I don't want to sound like I am hating on the new found job. The job is great because it is feeding the family well and we can afford things we couldn't before. I am really happy for him but I miss him and he's old self, I know it sound selfish but I also want my attention. Please can you advice?


                                                                                                                                               Mrs Anwuli

Let's do this! »

November 25th

     November 25th was designated by the United Nations General Assembly as a day to raise awareness for women suffering any kind of violence from domestic violence to rape. This event started 1999 and the date was selected with links to the assassination in 1960  of the three mirabal sisters that where political activists in Dominican Republic. The execution was based on their opposition of the dictatorship of Rafael Trujillo.
     Let us join and support the elimination of violence against women. So put up a pic on your various social medias and show your support.

Click the link to see two more campaign banners.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: Is He cheating?

Good evening Ralph,
           Sorry to write at this late hour but there is something that has been bugging me. I heard of your contribution in ego's show in Inspiration FM tonight. Nice contribution you made, I have gone through your blog and find your topics helpful. Now my problem is that my husband always gets up late at night and checks he's fun. He stays on it for some time, like about 30 mins to and hour and I think he is chatting someone up. He usually thinks I am sleeping but I am not. I am very sure he will still do it tonight because he now does it every night. I don't want to start checking he's phone and seem like I am suspecting him but at the same time something tells me he is up to something fishy. I don't know what to think. Is this behavior normal among you men? Is he cheating on me? Thank you as I wait for your reply.

                                                                                                                                             Anonymous
Let's do this! »

Tuesday Tip: Take up a sport

       The general idea of exercise and fitness is tiring I must admit. Many complain of the time and effort you have to put into it before you start seeing results. It eats into the time you can use to be together with friends and eats away at your social life. Even some of those that manage to make it to the gym to engage in a workout eventually give up because of various reasons with the above mentioned inclusive.
      I have found that playing a sport that you love is one of the ways or should I say shortcuts to keeping up a good overall fitness and health level while maintaining a healthy social life. Sports that engage you, actively build your physically and mentally and are generally fun. There are lots of benefits to taking up a sport.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: He snores

Dear Ralph,
        I don't know if you would be able to help with this but I have to try. My man's snoring habit is giving me sleepless nights. They are just too loud and he sleeps so deep. If I tap him to wake up at night he just uses a dull eye to to say somethings that I can't understand then go back to snoring. I am very light at sleeping and I can't keep up like this. Now apart from that he is a really nice and funny man. I really love him but my God, this he's habit is driving me crazy. Is there any suggestion you or your readers could give? I would appreciate it. Thanks

                                                                                                                                                  Miriam
Let's do this! »

Negativity is heavier

         Have you ever had that light feeling in your chest after letting go of something? Probably now that your older it hasn't occurred very much but think back to when you where younger, can you remember that feeling that you get in your chest when you are crying for something that really hurt you? Now can you remember how light at heart and much better you suddenly feel after letting it out through tears? It is that same feeling that dropping all the negativity that's affecting you gives.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: My boyfriend is stingy

Hello Raphael,
My name is Nkechi and I will like to share an issue I'm having with you

I met my boyfriend about 4 years ago, we dated for a bit but broke up after due to irreconcilable differences, after we broke up he called me several times to apologize and ask me to take him back which I did last year.  My siblings and mother were kind of against the relationship at this point because of the way he treated me before but I assured them he was a changed man and I loved him,  We started going out again in November last year and this time we were planning it was going to end in marriage,  the issue is that he's very stingy.
Let's do this! »

Q&A : The Recent child abuse video

Q: Mr Ralph, I am sure you have seen the recent video circulating. You know the one about the abusive helper that brutalized the little girl she was meant to be taking care of. I can't help but to feel bad and sorry for the family. I know what I would have done to the girl if it was me but Ralph I am eager to know your opinion. How do you think that this should have been handled. I heard the girl was beaten up by the Father of the child and she ended up in the hospital seriously damaged. Also heard that she might be facing some jail time. What do you think should have been done and how do you think this should be prevented from happening.

Let's do this! »

Monday Myth: Muscle training is only for men

 
  There is a common misguided belief that muscle training is only meant for the masculine figure but this couldn't be further from the truth. Well statistics show that an increasing number of women are beginning to prove that myth wrong. Women can lift weights and still look fabulous.
     Ladies you shouldn't be scared to hit the gym and lift some weight. Weight training is good to keep your muscles toned and to help you keep a tight sag-free skin. Weight and muscle training has also been proved to help burn fat. So next time you are in the gym ladies, select a weight that would give you the results you want, be it lean or bulky muscles. Better yet ask your fitness expert for a program you can do with the weights to keep you in the shape you want.

My two angels (Continuation)

....But something was wrong, she was still alive, but she couldn't breathe, she suddenly opened her eyes wide gasping for air, she yanked at the rope around her neck furiously and desperately with the aim of cutting it to stop the pain, she was beginning to panic. She felt the blood rushing up her head as she was hopelessly tugging at the rope. Why was she still suspended in the air? Why didn't the rope snap her neck and why wouldn't it cut and let her go either? She realized then that her weight wasn't enough to aid the rope in finishing the job; she had lost too much weight from the stress and starvation that she had endured for a long a time. She had to wait out the pain and agony but she was determined to stop it, she wasn't going to give up now. She stretched her left leg to bring the chair she was standing on earlier closer but she tipped it over and it fell.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: Should I talk to the boss?

Dear Ralph,
             So I work at this firm in Lagos and the competition is really tight there. You know how hard it is to get a promotion at work. My family has been struggling and I have been really struggling to get an increase in my salary but it's always being turned down. Finally I spoke with the manager of my department and he said that he would help out but that usually the only way would be to see a steady increase in my productivity. Now here is the problem, the main bosses child works with us and he is really annoying. I don't know if  is also following me to struggle for raise in he's fathers company,
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: The guilt is eating me up

Dear Ralph,
         I have something that has been weighing on my heart for some time now. I feel maybe you can help me get over this guilt that I feel. I got pregnant for my boyfriend early this year when I was in school. It was a mistake and I thought we were being careful, we used protection but I don't know how it managed to happen. But the thing is that I took in. At first I didn't know what to do and I was really scared. I and my boyfriend discussed and I decided to remove the child. Ever since I did that I have not been able to live with myself. I hardly sleep and I know I am just hallucinating but at times I feel like I see my child or hear it's voice. I never even got to find out if it was a boy or a girl.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: Urgent Help needed

Hi Ralph,
well done for the good job you are doing. I Came across your blog from LIB I think and I have been addicted ever since.
        Let me go straight to the point. Got married this year July n am ashamed to say it feels like i want out. Before I go further I just want to let all single ladies know that d grass ain't greener at the other side and don't be in a haste to get married.
    Now I met my husband on a dating program and we didn't date for so long. We met Oct last year. Yeah I guess I didn't take too much time to know him, plus I let pressure cloud most of my judgement about him. Its like we belong to two separate worlds. He can vex for Africa. I used to be the one who had mood swings and get annoyed easily but reverse is the case now.
Let's do this! »

Keep Pushing on through the struggles...

      " Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life" - J.K Rowling.
Most of you have seen the movie harry potter or have at least read the novel. The above saying was from the author of that novel, J.K Rowling.  She suffered from depression after she split up with her husband and had to live as a single mother raising her daughter Jessica. At the time she hardly had much and while writing the book Harry Potter she was living off welfare while staying in a government apartment. Today her name and her book are very popular and she is worth millions of dollars. She never gave up even when times got tough, she kept on pushing.
Let's do this! »

Q & A : Proper age for dating

Collins: I think dating age is something that should be controlled. I can't believe that my sister in junior secondary has already had a boyfriend and is complaining of heartbreak. She should be worried about how to complete her assignments and focus on her books. But it is boys that just run around in her head now. With the way she is going she is going to get pregnant before she leaves secondary school and when she enters university I wouldn't even want to think of what will happen. I would still have to talk to my parents so that they change her school to an all girls school.

Q: So Ralph, when do you think the proper age for dating should be. I personally believe that you should only date when you are ready to marry.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: Who should I chose?

Dear Ralph,
        I read about your blog from LIB and thought immediately to get some answers from you. I'll be 24 in less than two months and I don't know how to fix this mess. I started dating this guy mid last year when we met at a friend's wedding. I wasn't really looking for a relationship then as I had recently broken up with someone. But this guy was nice, respectful and intelligent so I thought, why not give friendship a trial and see how it works from there. We became close and I started falling for him as we had so much in common and could relate well. Only one thing was missing, he was always busy. I got to understand that he has a demanding job but it got so bad that he could go up to three days without calling me.
Let's do this! »

Friday Fitness Fact: Get under the duvet

  Engaging in intimacy is an effective way to loose weight. During the act of making love, the person on top usually does most of the work which helps . Intimacy helps increase the heart rate and pump more blood which is the same thing that a cardio exercise does to make you lose weight. It is also said that intimacy can help you burn up to 150 calories under 30 mins. According to some researches also the reverse cow girl position would also help in working your butt muscles, and their are various other positions that would workout other parts of your body. So you can have fun with your partner, lose weight, look good and have great orgasms at once. And you wonder why rabbits are so happy and physically fit.

Now point me to that person that said exercising was stressful...

Dear Ralph: Should I bring back the vibe?

   

Hello Ralph,
          This is kind of awkward but I really need the advice. I am a woman, 29 years old and married to the most caring man on earth. We have an issue, well I in particular have an issue seeing that he doesn't know the problem here. You see I am a woman and us women have our needs as I know you understand. Before I started actively engaging in intimacy in relationships after my virginity was taken, I got a toy and decided that if I was going to stay away from anything second base and above with men and still be reach the satisfaction that I needed it. I used to have fun times alone with my vibe and had the best 'O' ever. But you know these toys can never be as good as having a real man, so when I got back into relationships I dropped the vibe because of a quarrel with my boyfriend back then. He said that if I keep using it that he would never be good enough for me. I understood and dropped it, we had our fun times and he was really good in bed. Making love to him was really satisfying but we broke up and that chapter ended. Shortly after the break up I met my  husband and we started dating, I loved him so much and decided that it wasn't good for him to see the part of me that liked toys so I still kept the toys away. Doing "it" was never really good with him and I kept consoling myself that he would get better with time and experience seeing that I was he's first and only. We are now married and still I am not seeing any improvement. He doesn't even know when I am not satisfied, once he finishes he pulls out and goes to wash off and I am stuck there. This has been going on ever since and the fear of living with this for the rest of my married life is really scaring me. As I said before I am a woman and I have needs. I am beginning to consider bringing out the vibe but I am afraid that he would see me as a freak. I really don't know what to do. I am also considering using it after he is asleep and I go to another room or when he is at work. I don't want to cheat on him so that is not an option at all. He is a really good man. This is just he's only problem. So what do you think I should do in this situation? should I go back and bring out my toys to come and play?

                                                                                                                                               Anonymous






Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: Should I tell my family?

Dear Ralph,
       I am in a tight corner right now in my life. I am a married man with kids. I am 32 years of age and I have hit rock bottom. I was sacked from my job early this year and I have been searching for a job since then. Things have been really hard on me and I have been trying to keep it together for some time now. The problem is that my wife and family do not know that I have lost my job. I think my wife suspects but I am not sure, she acts funny at times and I don't mean that in a bad way. I still leave the house every morning dressed like I am about to go to my work but I just go out and go job hunting. I have been supporting the family from my little savings since this happened but I am reaching my limit. I might not be able to carry the family anymore at this rate. I don't know if it's my pride but I just don't feel right telling the wife about this, a part of me just wants to keep quiet and sort through it and only disclose it when I have secured a job. I am kind so confused. Was wondering if you could offer any advice or solution to this. I would really appreciate.

                                                                                                                                           Anonymous
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: Should I contact her?

Hi Ralph,
   What's good? without much ado let me go to the main point of why I am writing. My ex girlfriend birthday is on Saturday (November 22) and I'm having these mixed feelings about it. A part of me says I should celebrate it with her while the other part of me says NO! I shouldn't. But the thing is, the birthday has been on my mind right form august. The initial feeling was that, I was going to ignore her on her birthday to make her know how hurt I still feel but as the days get closer, the feelings just keeps overwhelming me. Now I can't even of anything else apart from the birthday. Though she now has another boyfriend whom she dumped me for but I still really love her.
  Let me tell you of what went down between us.
Let's do this! »

Never give up on your dreams

   
        A path that is free of obstacles and smooth is the most suspicious kind of road in my opinion. On the path to fulfill your dreams you are going to meet a lot of setbacks. Sometimes you would question the reality and possibility of fulfilling your goals in life but you have to learn to remain strong in every circumstance. You have to keep pushing and fighting to see your dreams through. Even when it looks like everything is working against you and there is no hope, I want you to find a way to keep taking a step forward, one step at a time.
Let's do this! »

Dear Ralph: How can I reduce my eating

Good day Mr Raphael,

        I trust everything has been good with you lately. Well my problem is for the health section, I hope that isn't a problem as I have noticed you do mostly relationship advice. Anyway, my problem is my love for food. Ralph, I cannot pass food by without wanting to eat it. I am very lucky because I am one of those people that no matter what I eat I cannot increase so there is no need to kill myself with exercising . But I am really concerned for this nasty habit. Sometimes I feel bad within myself when I regain consciousness in the middle of munching down on a bowl of food. I feel kind of ugly inside and I hope you will be able to tell me a way to help myself. I am single and I am worried that any man I meet might not like this my habit. My body might not show it at first but I know once I settle in with the person and get comfortable my habit would happen without me knowing. Please what can I do? Oh and sorry sorry to hear about your blackberry and I hope you replace it soon so I can add you directly and we can chat for some other problems that I am facing. Thank you

                                                                    

                                                                                                                                          Chinenye

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Dear Ralph: My man is addicted to smoking

Dear Ralph,
       I have an issue that has been bothering me. By the way I saw your message on Facebook and it seems your name has been popping up in different places recently so I read up on your blog and decided to give this a try. I and my boyfriend have been battling over he's habit of smoking. He just can't go an hour without bringing out a cigarette to smoke and it is really irritating me, I have been managing this for the four months we have been dating.
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Sorry Guyz

I'm really sorry guys. My blackberry just packed up and decided to stop working. I have been trying since morning to fix the problem but it's not responding and I have been too busy to take it to a technician. I'll do that as soon as possible so please bear with me for now. But for now you can still reach me through my email raphaelsblogg@gmail.com. Thanks for understanding.

Dear Ralph: Should we abort the child

Good morning Ralph,
     I have thought about my current situation and a possible way to solve it but I am running out of ideas on what to do. A friend introduced me to your blog and told me of how you helped him so I decided to try you out. My wife and I have been married for 7 years and we have 2 children together, we aren't really financially stable but we manage what we have well and that was why we decided to stop getting pregnant after our second child so that we can take care of our small home well. But something happened mid this year and it has shattered my home.
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True passion

       I always talk about persistence and determination when speaking to people and trying to inspire them to keep pushing for what they want. But I can never overestimate the importance of true passion. The true love and appreciation in actually doing what you really genuinely love doing. I just have to share with you all a particular song that really taught me a lot, from the lyrical contents to the displays on the video. The song is called "Remember the name" by Fort Minor.

Click the link to read more
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Q&A: Her man never gives any financial aid

     So two days ago which was Monday the 17th of November 2014, I was supposed to be a guest speaker on a radio show on Inspiration 92.3 f.m Lagos. I was meant to contribute in a segment for problems that single ladies face in life with Ms Ego Abili or Ego the love messenger as the Host. Things didn't really work out because of some technical difficulties and she had to make a quick switch of subject and reserve the topic I was meant to speak on for when everything is sorted out.

Q:    So the issue that was discussed was about a lady that was in a five year old relationship with her man, she say the man is really good, loving and caring. But that the only problem is that he never gives her any money. Throughout the course of the relationship he doesn't as much as give her recharge card or anything at all. If it is money related just forget about it. So I decided to do a little something on this topic here.

Click the link for my answer
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Dear Ralph: My friend wants me to date him

Dear Ralph
     I have 3 male friends and we are really close. I'm single but all the guys have girlfriends. But recently one of them had a really terrible breakup and it caused him a serious heartbreak. He is now always gloomy and sad and comes to me for comfort. I do my best to help him out the way I can and have him forget about all the things he is going through. When we became friends one of them was asking me out but I refused on the basis that I don't date my friends. But the other day the single one asked out and I just didn't give him any answer in particular. The thing is that the other guys are pressuring me now, they say I must marry one person among them. And this my friend who just got he's heart broken is in a fragile state right now. I don't want to date him because I am not in love with him and at the same time I don't want to hurt him more. Please what can you suggest that I do?

                                                                                                                                             Anonymous

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Dear Ralph: Please help...

Hello Ralph,
     Where do I begin? I am a 21 year old boy and I have gone through a whole lot that I don't know what else to do. I grew up without a mum and was living with my dad, he did he's best but he just never knew how to connect with me, we fight most of the times because he gets really annoying at times. I don't have any friends and was never really close to any of my siblings. I did have a very close and dear friend back in secondary school and we were really close, he was the only friend I ever had, but we got into a fight one day and after that we stopped talking for a while. We went on break one of the terms and on my return we got a message that he had died from a sickness. You can imagine how I felt, up till today it still haunts me and I think it is the cause of my depression and self seclusion. I am unable to make any friends now, I stay at home and keep to myself. Don't even speak about female friends because I know I will never be able to get a girlfriend with my current condition. I am constantly depressed and with each day that passes I contemplate suicide more and more. I thought that getting into the university was going to help me but I still haven't gotten in. If the problem isn't jamb then the problem would be post UME. I am really tired and fed up and feel like I have no where left to go. I don't know what to do. I feel if I keep going like this that I will do something horrible to myself. I am beginning to be fascinated by the idea of pain and although I haven't done anything to inflict it upon myself I can't say that I haven't thought of it. Please Ralph if there is anything you can do for me I would really appreciate it, I can't keep on going like this. What do I do next? Where do I go?

                                                                                                                                 Anonymous






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Dear Ralph: He won't use protection

Dear Ralph,
           My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, we only started getting physically intimate recently. He is a really good and loving man and I love him very much. The only problem is that when we make love he never uses protection. I have tried to suggest it to him a couple of times and he just waves it aside, he is also says that it feels better to him when we do it without protection. I admit that yes it does feel better but I am not yet ready to be a mum. I love him and really enjoy being with him but this is the main problem I have with him. Last time that my period was delayed I got so scared and called him but somehow he just kept calm and kept telling me that nothing was going to happen and at the end nothing happened. I feel like that was a narrow escape although it got me thinking about just carrying on without any protection and trusting him totally. I really want to be more careful but I don't know any other way to go about this. Please how do I get him to consider my own side more.

                                                                                                                                           Anonymous
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Dear Ralph: She drinks a lot

Dear Raphael,
        I have a problem with the woman I wish to marry. For the 2 years we have know each other I have known her to be an alcoholic. She really loves to drink a lot. She would drink anything you bring be it beer, wine or spirit. I have been trying to calm her drinking habit down but it hardly works. I really love her and I don't want to leave her but this habit of hers is really pushing me away. I am caught in the middle here. I wanted to engage her but I am really hesitating because I heard that alcohol is really bad for babies and I am now thinking twice cos I don't want my child to be deformed. How can I get her to stop? please I really need your advice.

                                                                                                                                               Taiwo
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Tuesday Tip: Core Contraction

 

 

       This is very necessary if you wish to build those fabulous abdominal muscles you want. What this means is that you have to put in effort to tighten your abs when doing any stomach workout in other to see the results you are looking for. Without this then no matter how man reps of sit-ups, crunches, reverse crunches or leg raise that you do, you will only see little to no significant difference. Without this then in your sit-up all you actually do is go up and down without actually working.  . It's just like lifting weights or curling with dumb-bells without tightening your arm muscles and you expect a result. So before you give up on your abdominal workouts make sure you are getting everything correct.
       
Exta tip: Make sure to exhale when you get to the position you have to contract to maximize the effect also. Like during a sit-up,  you start by laying on the floor and when you come up for your chest to meet your leg that is when you should contract and exhale.

Start with forgiveness.

     Learn to forgive. Let go of all the anger and hatred inside of you, if not because of the sake of letting the other person off then do it for your own good. By holding on to grudges and malice you might no realize it but you are preventing yourself form moving on. You might have succeeded in pushing the incident that caused it to the back of your mind but you won't be truly free until you learn to just let go and forgive. Now I know that it isn't easy to forget certain things depending on the magnitude of hurt it caused you but in order for you to proceed with the healing process you would have to learn to just forgive and only then will you get to slowly forget.

But first of all Start with forgiveness...
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Dear Ralph: How do I communicate better with him

Dear Ralph,
      Coming across your blog is one of the most comforting things that has happened to me in recent times because I have tons of issues with no one to share with either because of fear of being judged or just because I feel sharing your issues with others especially friends doesn't exactly help. I am glad you are her.
   The first most disturbing issue to me right now is the communication in my relationship. We have been dating for 10 years now and got engaged this year, to get married early next year after so many challenges. The relationship was an "on and off" thing within the 10 years. But since we defined a path for it, we have been stable. I feel I never have things to say, I feel I bore him. It is the usual "how are you", "what did you eat", "how was work" etc, and the reply is always the same. I feel like I ask too  many questions, is making conversation asking questions?
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Q & A : Nobody cares

Mr Best: Please don't wake up thinking anyone cares about you! Nobody does! NOBODY! People only care for what they can gain from you.
      This message which preaches that nobody cares was criticized by almost all my friends. Before you start with it let me remind you that no matter how much your friends claim to care, they cannot wish they have your problems. And also to every general rule, there are a few exceptions. Your thoughts...?

Click the link for my Answer
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Problem with the Extra Skin?

   

       Often times we exercise and shed a lot of body fat which is good. But then at times there is a general problem that people complain of which is the left over skin, that extra flabby skin that just won't disappear. So let us look and see the causes, effects and possible remedies to this condition.
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Dear Ralph: Please How do I balance my work and Social Life

Hello Ralph,
         So on seeing your post about maintaining balance I had to ask as I am in a situation. I wake up really early and leave for work in order to beat traffic and get to work on time so I can avoid being fired as my boss doesn't play with punctuality. I work from morning till night and leave again then spend most of the time on traffic only to get back late and sleep so I can get back up and rush out again. I can't hangout with friends much because if I drink I wouldn't wake up as early, I only have Sundays to take care of myself and my house. My work program has shut down my social life and I really don't know how to go about this. It is really depressing and I know if I continue like this the depression will get more serious Any suggestions for how to do this?

                                                                                                                                                Charles

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