Dear Ralph: My friend wants me to date him

Dear Ralph
     I have 3 male friends and we are really close. I'm single but all the guys have girlfriends. But recently one of them had a really terrible breakup and it caused him a serious heartbreak. He is now always gloomy and sad and comes to me for comfort. I do my best to help him out the way I can and have him forget about all the things he is going through. When we became friends one of them was asking me out but I refused on the basis that I don't date my friends. But the other day the single one asked out and I just didn't give him any answer in particular. The thing is that the other guys are pressuring me now, they say I must marry one person among them. And this my friend who just got he's heart broken is in a fragile state right now. I don't want to date him because I am not in love with him and at the same time I don't want to hurt him more. Please what can you suggest that I do?

                                                                                                                                             Anonymous





Dear Anonymous,
      Alright, first things first you need to forget about what your other fiends and every other person might say to you. Think of whether you really want this guy or if you are just considering doing this out of pity for he's situation. I personally think it is because of pity because you mentioned earlier that you don't date your friends and that you don't love him. But that is just me, you are the one that truly knows what is in your heart. If you genuinely like him then it is fine, you can go ahead with it. But if not then for he's own good and yours too, you should keep away from it. Explain to him why you can't do it and stand your ground no matter what your other friends might want to say. Remember that if you both aren't truly in love with each other, when the pressure that a relationship brings starts falling on you both later on, you two might not be able to withstand it and might end up having to break up. If things end up badly, then even your regular friendship that you had might end up being ruined by then. These are things you should consider before making your decision
        And if you decide you do not want to do it then call he's attention to the dangers of what he wants to get himself into. I know you might not want to hurt him because of he's present state but sometime you just have to forget about the pain that the truth will cause him today and think about how it will help him tomorrow. He might hate you today but if is sensible he will appreciate what you did tomorrow. For all we know he might just be subconsciously looking for a way to rebound from the bad break up he suffered and its only natural that he see's you in a different light being that you are the closest female to him. He might not really be in control of what he is doing right now. So also look at things from he's own angle and then you can judge better.
     It doesn't always happen like this though, it doesn't always end up badly, I know people that have started out not really being into each other and later grew into loving each other deeply so you find out if you are willing to take the chances. I know it sounds like I am just highlighting only the bad side but I do it so that if you can handle the negative then the positive would be an added bonus

Also remember that whatever decision you make is going to be totally yours. I will just help and point out things that you might be overlooking and shine more light on certain points that you might or might not have noticed before. Be really careful and make the right decision. Best of luck to you and your friend

                                                                                                                                                  Ralph