Dear Ralph: What do you do with a man that sulks a lot

Dear Ralph,
       I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months. He is a great guy and all but my major problem with him is that he is always moody and looking for pity. Every little thing that happens puts him in a sad mood and he just makes this really annoying face and goes to one corner. At the beginning I thought that he was just having a hard time but now I am beginning to understand that he just loves pity. It's always how this happened to him and the other one happened. No matter how insignificant it might be he just carries a long face for days around and when we even speak on the phone he pulls my own mood down. It is really getting pathetic and I don't want to start thinking about just leaving him. The attitude is really annoying.
He never goes out and hardly has any friends so I think it might  be contributing to this but i'm not sure. Even arguments and fights, he just hides away and talks to himself, forming a pity face. It is so pathetic.He doesn't know how to get over problems after we have had fight. For the love of God he would carry the long face for weeks sef if possible. I really cannot handle this. Is there a way to stop people from acting like this?


                                                                                                                                              Anonymous




Dear Anonymous,
           These kind of people are really difficult to put up with and the solutions I have to offer would not be easy to implement but you can try it out all the same. First of all I want you to try and Ignore when he does it. If he starts pouting and being moody when you both have an argument and long after that. As long as you have gotten over it, just carry on around the house like nothing ever happened. Let him feel like it isn't getting to you. People like this usually do it so that they can get to you or show you that what you did to them is bad without using words. So you have to defeat the purpose of that action. If he notices that it doesn't affect you and that it looks like you don't really care about he's reactions then he might be forced to change he's attitude. Conversations with him should carry on as if to say he's facial expression isn't there.
       That is one way of handling it, on the other hand depending on the kind of person he is. You might want to consider calling him out on it. Let him know that you cannot put up with the behavior and that you aren't going to take it from him. Let him know that he needs to be mature in how he handles quarrels. Sometime being upfront about it would send a message that they are being childish and if they recognize it it could help them change their attitude. So depending on the kind of person he is you can also try that out.
     Also you can try to get him to go out with he's fellow men. Let him make friends with guys and go out more to be in the midst of them. I found that people that do this also tend to change when their friends have a thing or two to say to them about how they behave. If he is teased a little every now and then by them he would also be pushed into giving up the attitude. But then you still have to be patient with him through it if you are going to see him change. So please just try out my advice and give him a little time.

                                                                                                                                                Ralph