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Friday 21 November 2014

Q & A : Proper age for dating



Collins: I think dating age is something that should be controlled. I can't believe that my sister in junior secondary has already had a boyfriend and is complaining of heartbreak. She should be worried about how to complete her assignments and focus on her books. But it is boys that just run around in her head now. With the way she is going she is going to get pregnant before she leaves secondary school and when she enters university I wouldn't even want to think of what will happen. I would still have to talk to my parents so that they change her school to an all girls school.

Q: So Ralph, when do you think the proper age for dating should be. I personally believe that you should only date when you are ready to marry.



A : I believe that promiscuity can not be determined by how early a woman recognizes men in her environment. I think women naturally mature faster than men so are most likely to explore the mature part of life faster. And among the women some mature faster than others as in the case of your little sister. Now saying that at the rate she is going that she would definitely get pregnant out of wedlock is not exactly accurate. I know people that started out early and were called all the bad names in school and at the end of the day it was the quiet ones that no one ever suspected that ended up over doing it. I think does who started out early also learnt early and grew faster but of course not every single one of them.
    You see restriction is good but not all the time, the key in this like every other thing in life is balance. Think of it for a moment. You say she shouldn't date anybody until she is ready for marriage but without experience in dating she would never be ready for the pressure that a normal relationship can bring, then let alone marriage. If you keep her away from boys, the day she finally see's them it'll be like an all you can eat buffet to her and by then whatever actions she takes might not have good results. At the same time if you allow her to do whatever she want and expose her to things that mature minds alone can handle then it could affect her in the long run. Let me give you another example. By statistics it shows that the men cheat more than women right? But then it is the same women who start exploring intimacy before men. Then again when finally men discover it, it becomes like the next thing after food, air and water to them. I am not exactly saying that this fact is entirely true and applies to all men but you get where I am heading. Just know that it isn't everything you can control in a person, Some things are just buried deep down in the nature of certain people.
    At the end of the day you find out that moderation is key. You can't totally allow her to do everything she wants to do at this age since she is still growing and can still be shaped or as I prefer, guided. But at the same time you don't want to control her life excessively and cause even more damage when she starts revolting your methods. So instead of seeking to forcefully alter a persons way of life, I believe what you should seek is to guide her path towards the right side and allow her to make mistakes and grow.


But then again this is just my believe, my personal opinion.....

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5 Comments:

At 21 November 2014 at 18:43 , Anonymous Haaj said...

Ralph is right. Besides, if you want your sister exposed, it should be the right way. An all girls school might send her in a different direction *if u get what i mean*. The good part of this is that you know. Try to be closer to her, make her your best friend, then you'll find out more and know how to guide her.

 
At 22 November 2014 at 10:47 , Anonymous bukola said...

Nice answer, but ralph you like long story o

 
At 22 November 2014 at 11:24 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think above 21 years old is okay

 
At 22 November 2014 at 11:56 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

forcefully controling teenagers is very dangerous o! i think ralph is right now. But kai e dey pain when e come to ur sista

 
At 22 November 2014 at 14:35 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

i believe experience is important also

 

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