Dear Ralph: Please help...

Hello Ralph,
     Where do I begin? I am a 21 year old boy and I have gone through a whole lot that I don't know what else to do. I grew up without a mum and was living with my dad, he did he's best but he just never knew how to connect with me, we fight most of the times because he gets really annoying at times. I don't have any friends and was never really close to any of my siblings. I did have a very close and dear friend back in secondary school and we were really close, he was the only friend I ever had, but we got into a fight one day and after that we stopped talking for a while. We went on break one of the terms and on my return we got a message that he had died from a sickness. You can imagine how I felt, up till today it still haunts me and I think it is the cause of my depression and self seclusion. I am unable to make any friends now, I stay at home and keep to myself. Don't even speak about female friends because I know I will never be able to get a girlfriend with my current condition. I am constantly depressed and with each day that passes I contemplate suicide more and more. I thought that getting into the university was going to help me but I still haven't gotten in. If the problem isn't jamb then the problem would be post UME. I am really tired and fed up and feel like I have no where left to go. I don't know what to do. I feel if I keep going like this that I will do something horrible to myself. I am beginning to be fascinated by the idea of pain and although I haven't done anything to inflict it upon myself I can't say that I haven't thought of it. Please Ralph if there is anything you can do for me I would really appreciate it, I can't keep on going like this. What do I do next? Where do I go?

                                                                                                                                 Anonymous








Dear Anonymous
     You have been through a lot and have lost a lot, you have my sincerest sympathy and care. I understand the reason why you feel like this but let me tell you now that once there is life, there is hope. Do not let these trials that you are going through break you. You need to forgive yourself first for the loss of your friend, remember that it wasn't your fault that the unfortunate loss happened. I know you feel bad that you were keeping a grudge against him when he passed but you need to also know that he as your friend wouldn't want you to be suffering now. He must have been pained through all those days or weeks of silence but know now that if he is looking down at you from wherever he is, he wouldn't be happy that you are beating yourself up. Think of it like this, your friend is in a better place now and I know it is hard to accept but what I tell people that have come to me with stories of loss is that death is only painful for the living. I know it won't be easy to live without him but life goes on my brother, you just need to try as much as you can. Let go of all the hurt and pain so you can move on.
   All the unfortunate events that are happening right now to you are definitely going to blow away, it won't remain like this forever.  When things start looking up for you they will definitely see and say that I told you so. Go out and make new friends, go out and have some fun. Be a better person and learn how to let go of anger and grudges. I would also always be here to talk you through any single problem you have and any time you feel things are in doubt. Before you realize it you will make it into the university and start a new life. Get closer to your dad and cherish him, he might be annoying but he is still your dad and making him a friend is something I know you will never ever regret. Please I also urge you to stop contemplating any form of self inflicted harm. You might think that ending it all would be the easiest way but you are mistaking. If you end it you would have robbed this world of all the talents you possess. The world still needs to see you and see your potential. Your story is going to touch the few readers I have and spread and you would help a couple of people going through the same thing as you are. Also think of how your dad and siblings would feel if you do anything to yourself. Make peace with your siblings and talk to them if possible, you would be surprised that they don't know anything about what you have been through
     You are a very strong young man, don't let the pressure take over you now my brother. Go out and find a hubby, find something you enjoy and keep at it. You are meant for a lot in this world and you haven't even started exploring your potentials. You are still going to find out a whole lot more about yourself so please bear with the world and be patient. Be strong...Keep living...

And as for the ladies, don't even worry about it. They will come, just concentrate on getting better for now...

                                                                                                                                                Ralph



Readers, please I would love if you could help me and offer a few words of encouragement to my friend here. He really needs your help and support to get better. Even if you don't comment on other posts, please just help me comment for him today and help him out of this. We are all one in this blog so let us create a warm comforting environment for my friend here. Thanks guyz