Dear Ralph: I want him to notice me

Dear Ralph,
     I am a 3rd year student at UNIZIK. There is this guy I have had my eyes on since our 100 level. He is in the same department as I am. A tall and fair brother with the broadest shoulders and a lean buil, I tell you Ralph I can sit on he's shoulder without caring to if I would fall off. Anyway I have been looking at him since our 1st year but I don't know if he is purposely ignoring me or if he just doesn't notice my presence. I make sure to sit close to he's chair during lectures. I know he has caught me staring a number of times through the years we have spent in school. During assignments and projects that people, have to be paired up in groups, I try my best to fall into he's group. No matter how hard I try to impress him with all the techniques I know without giving myself away, I can't seem to get he's attention.
I don't know but maybe he has a girlfriend and that is the reason why he isn't looking at me. But aren't guys supposed to be looking outside even when they have a girlfriend? Anyway I have done everything I can and don't know how to get him to at least look at me. Even the few times he does and talks to me ( I melt when he speaks to me), he just says what he has to and goes about he's business.He doesn't make an attempt to extend discussions. Another problem is that at times he looks at me as if to say there is something wrong with me,. That particular thing he does really gets to me because I can't afford to have him look at me as a freak.  He has other female friends from the class but I am just not in good term with those particular girls if not I would have gone through them, I know it sounds like jealousy but its not. I was wondering if there was anyway it was possible for him to notice me. I am having a huge crush on this guy and I can't afford to leave school without having a taste of him and he's hunky self. Please advice, how can I get this guy to look my way. I want babies that look like him you know!

                                                                                                                                         Anonymous




Dear Anonymous,
          From my opinion of the situation I think your first mistake is that you are trying too hard. I think you are putting in too much effort in impressing him and that is why. The reason he might be looking at you in a funny way could be because of the way you present yourself in front of him. Yes must guys would be happy to know that there is a girl with a mad crush on them and might even probably follow you up and make your work a little easier. But as you can see with this guy, he is quite different. He probably doesn't like you all over him. Also it could be just that he doesn't notice what you do and just has more focus on other things in he's life right now.
      I would suggest that you act more natural and just be yourself around him. Trying too hard to impress a guy rarely ends well. You could either be taken advantage of, ignored or if the person finally decides to get into a relationship with you, it is possible that because you were trying too hard to impress from the beginning you were never yourself and so your real character might not be what he wants. He might like the girl he feel in love with and not the real you. So my suggestion is to just let things flow naturally.
      If you do not want the above advice and just have to have this guy to yourself no matter how you do it then it's also your choice. Since he is the stubborn type, you can try and take a little more direct approach. Since he is never looking your way you have to stand in he's way and have him see you. So directly meet him and talk to him. Talk to him about something random like maybe, a homework assignment that you were given. Offer him help in class if he is having any difficulties and you can help. Also you can also try to make it your own duty to initiate and continue conversations. Some guys respond better to pressure and if you are really into this guy and he isn't giving into the cool approach then hey, why not try to be more upfront about it. And if he has a girlfriend this would be a faster way to find out immediately instead of worrying yourself too much over not knowing.

I still do prefer you to let things flow naturally but if the second way works for you then it's fine I guess, as long as you know what you are going into. Think of the negative effects of both sides and weigh them to see the one you can handle better then let your heart guide you.

Best of luck


                                                                                                                                                Ralph