Q&A: Should a woman contribute financially

Q: So Mr Ralph, I have read through your blog and can't help but notice the rising level of issues concerning relationships and money. So It crossed my mind to ask you your opinion on something that I have had an argument with my friends over. I personally think that a man should provide financially for he's home and that whatever the woman makes should be kept for her to take care of herself and her family. A couple of my male friends don't agree with me but I know it's because they are guys and they just don't like the fact I feel they should bear all the financial burden. So in your opinion, who do you think should take care of a homes financial needs.



A:  Well I personally do not think it is the sole duty of anybody in particular in the relationship to bear the financial burden. But at the same time I believe that the responsibility should be shouldered mostly by the man.
      You see the way I personally handle such issues is by struggling to makes sure that any woman I am with would not have the need to lift a finger or contribute anything. But then it doesn't necessarily mean that it rules the ladies out of that. I think it would be better if both parties where willing to contribute as much as they can for the relationship to move forward. While the man maintains at the back of he's mind that it is he's duty to provide for he's family, the woman should not sit down and do nothing if the man cannot meet up. It isn't bad to offer once in a while to help out with a couple of things. Even if the man can handle the problems it feels good knowing that the person you are with is willing to to help out.
      I don't believe it is right for the woman to keep everything she makes for herself and her family alone. Talking as a man I know how I would see a woman that I know keeps such a mind state in a relationship. It is better when she keeps an open mind to the situation. If her help is needed or she sees a way to help out then she should go ahead and lend her help and support to help build her family. If something was to go drastically wrong and the man isn't able to support he's family, women who keep such a mind state get easily frustrated. That is one of the cause of the problem relationships face where you see a man that has been working as hard as he could to sustain he's family and the moment he loses he's job or something goes wrong, he's partner loses it and starts acting up which might lead to separation sometimes if not most times. Most times we see it as lack of love or gratitude but in my opinion as much as the before mentioned reasons are partly responsible, there is also a possibility that she is just frustrated at having to shoulder "man's responsibility". So you see why I say that such mind state should be totally avoided, it is the mind state that gives rise to the escalation of this problem when it occurs.


Conclusion?

Generally I don't believe that things like this should be stated or defined in a relationship. Every body involved should keep a mind state of selflessness and willingness to take care of things. It might have been the way things used to be in the past, I don't know. But things and times are changing. Relationship roles shouldn't be left to one particular person to handle. Men should contribute in the house chores when they have the time and women should contribute financially when they can.