Dear Ralph: I talk to myself

Good Morning Ralph,
            I have been reading your blog and I am happy to come across it. I have a problem that I wanted to know if you would be able to help me out with. I usually talk to myself and it is really embarrassing. I am 17 and about to enter the university, I have had to stay away form making friends because I know that people will laugh at me when they notice my character. I actually talk to myself out loud and I know that it is creepy. I really don't know when I act like that, I try my best to have my conversations in my head but before I know what's happening I am talking out loud again and making hand signals as I am walking. I was teased a lot back in secondary school and I am really tired of the habit. There was even a day that I was angry at a person and instead of shouting with the person or confronting the person, I turned around and started shouting as I was walking away. I am really beginning to shy away from the idea of university because I can't afford to carry on like this. It's really bothering me seriously and I need help to get over this habit. Do you think I have a brain problem? I don't know if this can be cured but I really need any input you can give. Thank you in anticipation of your reply. And keep doing good works for people

                 
                                                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                             Anonymous








Dear Anonymous,
            I think you need to start off by making good friends, people you can trust and rely on for your problems. Remember that some people might laugh today at you but they just do it as a joke and not to hurt your feelings so don't easily shy away from people if they act funny in the beginning. You would know when your condition turns into a means to insult you. It is then that you would need to back off from people like that because you don't need the negativity.
       I believe that part of the problem is that you do not have anybody to talk, so you talk to yourself to get that satisfaction of making a conversation. It has turned into a habit that you repeat excessively and that is why it looks as if there is something wrong with you. So I urge you to go out and don't be afraid to make friends, good friends that you can talk to. By the time you make a friend, you would have the opportunity to say those things that you would normally say to yourself to the person and through that you would get most things off your chest which will help you reduce the need to talk to yourself about these things.
      You would also need to start making conscious efforts to change this habits that you have created. So here is another advice, you need to make an effort to stop yourself when you feel the need to talk to yourself and if you really need to say something then call up one of your new friends. Talk to them and let out whatever it is you need to, no matter how often or how little it might be, just makes sure to make it a habit to talk to your friends. If anyone complains, don't pull into your shell, instead just give the person a little space and talk to another person. Slowly and I emphasize with conscious effort, you would be able to reduce this habit until you no longer have to carry so much in your head or heart.
      Also building up your self confidence would help you in handling this issue, I think your esteem has been damaged because of fear of embarrassment from people. You need to forget about whatever they may say and learn to stand for yourself, say whatever you have to tell a person to their face and it will help you to let things out when you have to. Don't hold back too much on things you want to say.
          You cannot put your education on hold because of this problem. Instead I urge you to move forward and keep trying to fight this. Go out and meet people, build up your self confidence and it will help  you stand firmer when people want to mock you. There are horrible people out there that would make fun of your condition yes, but there are also people out there that would be willing to have you as a friend and that would understand your struggles.
   

I can't really say for sure if there is a psychological problem that you are suffering from and the best thing for you would be complain to a specialist so that he observes what you display and tells you what it might or might not be. But do not be scared, I am sure that even if it is something, it won't be serious. Worst case scenario it could just require some therapy sessions and a little rehabilitation and you are good to go, so give it a change

So take it easy and make sure to have a blast in the university, it won't be easy in school so you can't let things like this add to the school stress you will meet. Take care and I hope you get over this.


                                                                                                                                                    Ralph