Dear Ralph: Should we abort the child

Good morning Ralph,
     I have thought about my current situation and a possible way to solve it but I am running out of ideas on what to do. A friend introduced me to your blog and told me of how you helped him so I decided to try you out. My wife and I have been married for 7 years and we have 2 children together, we aren't really financially stable but we manage what we have well and that was why we decided to stop getting pregnant after our second child so that we can take care of our small home well. But something happened mid this year and it has shattered my home.
My wife left happily for work that morning and came back with her hair scattered and tears in her eyes, she wouldn't let me come close to her and she won't tell me what happened to her. After much persuasion she finally opened up and told me of how she was robbed and raped on her way back home. The news broke my heart and we kept fighting the memory of that, I kept thinking that if I could only get my wife to forget about it everything would be okay. But now the new problem we are facing is that she is pregnant. We haven't had any "thing" since the thing happened so I am sure that it isn't mine, we are both absolutely sure that it was from the incident. My wife is broken and I am doing the best I can to support her but I am also losing my mind here. My wife says she can never keep the baby because she would never love the child of the rapist and that she feels like she is carrying evil around. I truly understand why she feels like this. I personally do not know what to advice her, I don't know if she should keep the baby or if she should abort it but she is really insisting on removing it. She is really scared of what people might think if they found out the origin of the pregnancy.She hardly talks,eats,sleeps or does anything these days. She is constantly loosing weight and is always blanking out when I talk to her.  I pray but I am beginning to loose faith. She cries almost all the time and sometimes while we are discussing something else she just bursts out crying in memory of what happened. Please Ralph, I am confused and tired.

                                                                                                                                              Anonymous







Dear Anonymous
       My heart goes out to your family, I am really sorry that you people have to go through all this. I know it isn't easy at all but please just hang on and let us try to work through this together. Let me see if my advice can help you. Please open your mind and heart to what I am about to suggest to you. I understand how trying this period is but this all depends on your ability to stay composed and think of your wife. I know this might sound somehow to say but please you guys should not abort the child. Remember that the child isn't responsible for the sins of the father. And remember that at times greatness is found in the most unusual and least expected places. I want you to please advice your wife to stay calm and carry the child. If she is scared of what people would say then if possible tell them that it is your child. But It's not a must for People to know the truth of what happened or to know what happened at all. It is very possible for you and your wife to still love that child after he/she comes out but I also understand if you both are not able to bring yourselves to do that. If possible then after the child is born you can give the child up for adoption for parents that would love and take care of him/her better. I just want to make sure that you people don't end the life of the child. Stand by your wife and be her strength, this won't last forever. There are many people out here in the world that have lived through these kind of problems and are still living happily today so don't feel like you guys are alone.  If she needs to stay indoors for now until she starts feeling better then it is fine, let her have her privacy. But she needs to start trying to get some food and rest as it isn't good for her with all the stress she is going through.
      You both might have to consider also visiting a psychologist if the effects of the trauma start getting worse on her. Also remember that she might not consider the dangers of abortion now because of the situation. But you have to remember that you could lose her if she goes through that procedure. That is more reason why you should talk her out of her decision.
    Keep praying hard and don't worry it is just a matter of time everything would be okay, it is at this point that your faith is being tried that you need to keep a strong faith the most.

Once again I am deeply sorry that your family has to go through such a trying period but I hope that my presence will provide even the tiniest flash of light for you in these dark times Please take it easy and be safe. It might take a while but everything is going to be alright.

We are here for you, all of us at ask ralph blog. All the readers are here for you. You are not going to go through this alone.