Dear Ralph: We want to explore the back door

Hello Ralph,
        I was really excited to find your blog because I have been looking for where to seek advice on a particular problem. Well I don't know which excites me more, finding your blog or the discussion I and my husband have been having. Anyway this is my issue.
       I and the best man in the world have been married for 2 years now. Everything has been great and even the few times we quarrel, we settle it so easily and carry on like nothing ever happened to begin with. He is very loving and caring and when it comes to intimacy he is the best. That aspect of our love life has been really good and he knows how to keep he's woman happy. Now we have been searching ways to spice up our love life in the bedroom and have come up with a couple of suggestions and we also explore different positions. We recently have been contemplating checking out the back door if you know what I mean.
I am really excited and something about it just makes me feel dirty in a good way for my man. He also loves this part of me that is willing to go crazy and do anything. hahaha. Anyway I am also kind of scared of the dangers of this and I was hoping you could help enlighten me a little. I know that it is bound to cause me pain because I know the pain I endured when I opened the front door although I was young and naive.I don't want to make any mistakes and cause myself any serious harm and I can only imagine how painful this would be at first but I still want to try this out. Maybe an advice or a way I can get prepared for this in particular would help. You know this isn't something I can easily discuss with friends because you would never know where the gist would end up so I think this is my best bet for now. Thank you as I wait for your reply.


                                                                                                                                              Anonymous






Dear Anonymous,
               I am glad to see that you have a wonderful marriage and that you both are making constant effort to spice things up in your love life. I have a couple of tips that could help you and prepare you for the adventures you have decided to embark in.
       
  First of all you need to realize that it wasn't originally designed for what you are about to put it through so there might be some painful experience but our body adapts and it will adapt. It also depends on your body type, some people find it harder for their body to adapt to that type of stretch in that area. But there are some tips I can give you to use from your first time until you are used to it and continuously if you wish.
         
You need to wash up that area before your man makes any attempt of going in, preferably a warm bath. Take a nice bath and concentrate on cleaning out so that no left over bacteria from a recent visit to the loo would infect your man and in the future infect you through him. So make sure that before each session that you wash up very well. The warm bath would help to relax the muscles there and ease entry.
         
There are creams and sprays that are desensitizing. What these do generally is that they numb you out to an extent. But don't worry, you would still get the pleasure you seek, it is only meant to reduce the pain but they leave enough feeling for you to feel the pleasure.
         
You need to relax and breathe through it so as to free up your muscles from tightening up. The tighter your muscles are the more pain you would feel so you need to really ease off some tension and just generally relax and feel free. Welcome and accept the feeling, it will feel good to you so you don't have anything to be scared of.
         
 Also try to add an artificial Lubrication as that part of you doesn't bring any natural lube of it's own unlike her sister in the front who has plenty. I always specify and insist on water based lubes against oil based lubes. So if you wish to purchase any lube, make sure that you know what you check on the container to be sure.

Your hubby should remember to take it easy and gentle at the beginning. You might not be able to handle any rough play at the initial stage but if you both are very well into that then just wait it out and keep taking it easy until you are fully adjusted. He could really cause you some serious damage if he doesn't take it easy. So please this one is extremely IMPORTANT.

      If you do feel serious and unusual pain then you two should stop and know if you are getting anything wrong. Do not worry if this particular one doesn't work. There are millions of other ways to get the satisfaction that you are both looking for. So don't be disappointed if things don't work out with this.
Remain safe and be careful please, I would be here for some more assistance when you need it.

           
                                                                                                                                                      Ralph