Dear Ralph: Should I Sleep with him?

Dear Ralph,
         I am confused,I think I might have come too far already and don't know if I should turn back now. I am 21 years old and have always been praised by friends and family for having a very unique look. From my youth days I was used to being called a model, I have a very good skin, long spotless legs and a long neck. I am not bragging but I know that I am a modelling material. Well it has always been my dream to pursue a career in modelling and I have been working hard on it while balancing my schooling also. Recently I met someone who is a modelling agent or claims to be one because right now I am so confused about if it is true. He told me that he wanted me in his company and I was so delighted, I gave him my contact and we started talking for a while. After some weeks he scheduled a meeting with I and some other girls where we had to come and "show off our assets" according to him. I felt really bad about it but I knew this was the road I had to walk to achieve my dreams. So on that day I dressed up and went to the meeting place where he and two other friends where seated, making it 3 judges.
We were 12 girls and we got lined up and where told to get "ready" to be inspected. We removed what we were wearing and after a series of commands that included us walking up and down the room and turning around for our behinds to be inspected, we were told to dress up again and leave. Although I felt strange about this, I have never been into this before but I just felt something off about it, I chose to keep quiet. Later on that day he called me and told me that I have to meet him in his office the next day. I went to his office the next day and he informed me that they were considering picking me out of all the other girls, you cannot imagine how happy I was. But my happiness faded when he told me that I would have to pay him for the position. I told him I didn't have any money and he said it was fine, zipped down and told me to go down on my knees. I already knew what he wanted, I hesitated a little but I calculated and said that since I don't have a boyfriend and this was going to be just a one time thing I might just get it over with. So I carried on and did what he wanted. I left his office that day feeling guilty and dirty, brushed my mouth so hard that night and had sores all over my mouth when I was done because of the force I used to brush. But as you can guess it didn't end there. I had to come to his office everyday for the next two weeks to do this. To cut the whole story down, he has been asking for me to now sleep with him for the final payment so that I can start this job. I want this job and I do not have a boyfriend as I have said before. I was thinking to make him my boyfriend, that way I can feel less guilty about sleeping with him and have a better chance at entering the company. But I am so confused right now, I don't know if this is the right decision, Please can you advice? Please don't look at me as a bad person. I am just desperate for this job. This is my life long dream and I have already come this far.

                                                                                                                                               Anonymous













Dear Anonymous.
           I really think you should stay away from that man and his friends. This is not the right way to get anything that you are chasing. I know this is your lifelong dream but this is no way to achieve it. Believe me you do not want this haunting you throughout your career. And that is even if this is a genuine company in the first place. Because from what I am seeing, he might have just put a leash around your neck without you even knowing it. He could possibly just be exploiting your desperation, knowing how badly you want this. Ask yourself if you know the name of this company and can link them to anything like adverts or if you have even heard of them before he came along. Ask friends who are also into modelling if this company has actually done anything for anybody before. Your instincts when you sensed something off could have been right but your desperation might have caused you to ignore it.

You aren't already too deep into this to pull yourself out. All you need to do is turn around now, if the company is genuine and this is the only way they can give you this contract then please I would suggest that you leave it for now. I am sure there are many other modelling companies out there that would grant you a fair contract if you deserve it. This might not be the end, look at what he did when you accepted his first proposal. You satisfied him and he kept you coming back for more, but remember that on the first day, you thought that it was a one time thing. But he has dragged you so deep into this. Doesn't that mean that he might still have you coming back to give him more even after you sleep with him this first time. Please think again, something is definitely wrong about this whole thing. That company needs to be seriously investigated and this particular scam is quite outdated or I would like to believe it is.

Now making him your boyfriend is also not the best option from what I feel. You are only going to give him the liberty to use you for whatever he wants. A relationship shouldn't be started based on something like this, it just isn't right and I feel it wouldn't last. It is even possible that you and other girls you met at the meeting might have also been promised the same thing and kept under a rotation. It's not like he stated directly to you in front of them that you where the best candidate and told others to go. He called you secretly to tell you this and you have now been paying for this position you are supposed to deserve with these kind of acts. Also it is possible that if you go into a relationship with him based on this and it happens to be that the company is real. You would never be free to express yourself or oppose anything in the relationship, because that would mean you risking loosing him and loosing him means loosing the contract. So you would be mandated to abide by every thing he says or tells you to do in the relationship and you do not want that, trust me.

It is good to chase your dreams but please think twice about this path. There are many other paths you can follow, they might not be easy but nothing good comes easy my dear.

Hopefully in the future, If this blog is meant to last, I would use this to create opportunities for people and I might just consider a modelling aspect also so that people wouldn't have to suffer this abuse. I hope you make the right decision in this. Please sit back and think about yourself, the image you want to create. Don't let desperation lead you into something you might regret in the future. Take care for now, hope to hear from you soon. Finally, I never judge anybody so you aren't a bad person in my eyes, everyone makes mistake. Just know that you are never too deep to pull yourself back out, and if you need a helping hand then I'll be here. Welcome to the family!

                                                                                                                                                        Ralph