Dear Ralph: Should I tell my sister.

Dear Ralph,
          I am writing to you because I am scared and don't know what to do. I am 22 years old and my elder sister is going to be 25 by January next year and she is the reason I am writing to you. This is the problem here. My sister has a guy that wants to marry her. Actually they are already engaged and are set to marry middle of next year or around that period.  They have know each other for about 6 months now. I used to be close to the guy until recently. We used to hang out and he would take me to where his friends are and they would drink and have fun. I used to enjoy his company a lot and even when the others acted funny around me, he would threaten them and say that he would protect his in-law anytime. I used to feel very safe being around his friends once he is around also. One day I was over at his place and he had gotten influenced by excessive intake of alcohol and wasn't really himself. He started talking oddly to me and revealing certain things to me.
He told me of how he is into internet scams and other means of fraud, he said a lot of things and told me some ways of how he pulled it off. I was scared and confused because he used to tell me and my sister that he worked in an oil company and that was why he had that much money. But I knew this new information was true because of his current state, I started connecting a lot of things that didn't make sense in his past. The next day after he had slept it off and the effect had worn off, he met me and told me that he was joking when he said all those things the previous day. I knew it was lie and I told him that I hope my sister knows, but he insisted that it was a lie. The thing is that I have seen how he is with his friends and I have over heard some discussions before but just wasn't sure. My question now is,should I tell my sister who she is about to marry or let them sort it out on their own. Somehow I feel they should sort it out on their own but then again I don't want my sister to be hurt. She has gone through a lot already and I don't want her to suffer more. Thank you.

                                                                                                                                                     Drake







Dear Drake,
        Left for me I feel your sister deserves to know. She should know what she might be getting herself into but if possible,tell your sisters boyfriend to go and tell her by himself or that you would go and tell her yourself. Now I don't want you to sound like you are threatening him or anything because we don't want you in harms way. Just state it casually in a way that he still knows that you are serious but not threatening.

If you do decide to tell your sister, narrate the way everything happened because most likely she won't believe you now. I guess she doesn't know him well enough because they only met a short while ago. If not she should have been able to pick up the clues on her own. But whats happened is done and gone. If anything goes wrong tomorrow and he is put away in a cell or jail, it is still your sister that would suffer the heart ache. So I believe that the sooner she knows, the better for her.

Also you need to talk to him since you both are close, ask him if he actually plans on living off this means and bring to his attention how wrong this is. I know there is a very high possibility that he won't listen to anything you have to say but I need you to just try. At least get that off your chest and know that you have tried to help him. You might not be his age mate or even close but don't let that stop you, age doesn't matter in this situation. If your sister still loves him and wants to be with him after finding this out then trust me you would want him to find something better doing. Make suggestions for him and ask him why he has chosen this line of work. I believe in helping people out and not condemning or judging them because everyone has made a wrong choice every once in a while. So do what you can do to help him.

And please you need to be careful about him. When you speak to him make sure you watch the way you do it. Be really careful talking to him and stop whatever you are doing if you notice a hint of hostility before anything gets out of hand. If he loves your sister then depending on how you speak he might see you as a threat to his relationship and nobody likes threats to their relationship. So instead of portraying to him any kind of threat, instead let him know that you are also concerned for him. Just for your own safety please, I do not know the kind of person he is and hope things won't get critical with him.

Just let me know how it goes. Take things easy and please once again, you really need to be careful when doing this. Take care for now and I'll be waiting to hear on your progress, hopefully this would be cleared up soon enough.

                                                                                                                                                        Ralph