Dear Ralph: My girlfriend doesn't listen

Hi Ralph
       Good morning. I am writing to complain about my woman's attitude. My girlfriend doesn't ever listen to me when I try to correct her. When she is about to do something wrong and I point it out she will start shouting. She has never liked criticism in any way and it is getting worse day by day. Yesterday I told her not to go visit her friend with my car but she left with it. She came back and the car was scratched, I knew her hand wasn't strong behind the wheel yet but she won't hear. When I tried to point out to her what she did she got angry and walked out on me screaming a lot of garbage from her mouth that I can't even recollect. I don't know how best to approach this. Can you help?

                                                                                                                                            Uchenna



  Hello Uchenna
             I understand how annoying it can be when you are with a stubborn person. I always say that manner of approach is a big must if you want a happy relationship, so let me ask. Are you talking to her with a harsh voice, does your tone suggest criticism when you speak instead of correction. You should answer those questions first and correct yourself if your problem is from any of them. She might not like her hubby always criticizing her or raising he's voice at her and that might be why she barks back when you talk to her. Also sometimes women require different approaches, you might want to consider being the cool one in the house and find the best way to lure her into listening to you. Try to suggest things to her with reasons attached to it in a calm manner  instead of just simply telling her not to engage in a particular activity.
       Next time she gets something wrong, don't just point it out accusingly immediately, ask her what happened and hear her explanation and if possible offer to show her the right way to do things so she can avoid making too many mistakes, try and guide her. Believe me she will appreciate it very much and you two will grow a bigger connection and bond. Now some people both women and men only learn from mistakes so if she is that kind of person then next time she is about to do something  that you know will end badly calmly tell her that she shouldn't go ahead with it, if she insists then allow her, when something bad comes out of it just call her quietly and point it out to her in a manner that shows concern. Show her what the outcome would have been had she listened but I cannot emphasize enough on the manner you will use to speak.
   
   The last thing I would say for now is that, at times when something goes wrong it might not mean that she is care free. She might really be scared from knowing that you will stick it in her face when she makes a mistake and when she finally does come around you do exactly what she expected. If you do it every single time then it starts looking more like a fight to put her down , like you are always waiting for any opportunity for things to go wrong, she might be fed up of it then her reaction becomes to stubbornly shout back and defend herself even when she was absolutely wrong. Just take it easy and follow her up. Everything will work out fine once you learn her well.