Dear Ralph: Insulting Ex boyfriends

The famous DEAR RALPH section of AskRalph blog is dedicated to real people with real life struggles. Click the link to 'read more'. Feel free to contact me by using the email form you will see when you CLICK THIS LINK  or writing directly to my emails raphaelsblogg@gmail.com or askralphblog@gmail.com if you have an issues you want me to discuss. I would also want to encourage everyone that reads to drop their comments and inputs on the issue. Feel free to object or support any advice I give and drop your own thoughts. It's all in the best interest of the poster and the AskRalph family as a whole. So lend your advice and support through the comments section. It'll be really helpful. This is one of the main reasons I opened this blog. If you are reading this then I look forward to your participation. Ralph does not....I repeat DOES NOT have all the answers so your opinion counts a lot.... Alright let's do this!








Hi Ralph,

I really need your advice and that of fellow bvs right now. For goodness sake why are guys soo annoying? I Am so fed up right now. I am not the type to get depressed over someone's talks but I'm really fed up because this keeps happening almost all the time. I Am 21, a graduate of English awaiting service. An events manager and also an m.c so meeting people is an every day thing for me, Just that I am petite in size. Ralph I really wish I was still a kid so that I can have rest of mind and not be bothered with relationship issues. I‘v not been in many relationships but the few have all ended up badly, they all start withdrawing when I tell them no s3x before marriage and the one that has made me to write for advice is that after breaking up, the guys always turn around and insult me badly. This last one is a student doctor and I expected he would be mature but its been almost 7 months after breaking up and this guy starts sending me private messages on Facebook with insults, even when I ignore, he still persists.  Why do they always insult me? Am I being archaic? Should I just give up and start having s3x and not wait for marriage. Am really confused. Is there something am doing wrong that makes them break up and then turn around to insult me? Is there a way i can stay away from relationships completely? I don't even know what am typing anymore, I just need answers.

Funmi












Hello Funmi,

 I am so sorry for what you are going through with your exes. First of all let me ask this question. Is it every single one of them that you have broken up with that turns around to insult you? If it is, then maybe, just maybe there is something about you that gets them very annoyed. E.g, do you give them any hint that you will give in to the sex? Or do you state it outrightly that you aren't going to be intimate with them until they marriage. I am not trying to blame you at all, I just need you to look within and know if there is something that you are doing subconsciously.

 I must admit that them turning around to insult you is very immature. Even if the break up always ends bad or even if their is something bitter about the whole break up, it doesn't warrant insults. However I just want to say that you should calm down and take it easy, do not listen to the insults. Best thing to do is to break any ties with the person insulting you. If you can't take it then write to the person to stop the insults politely, if they still refuse then report the person to Facebook or the social media the person is using. There should be a "report this account" feature on each of your friends which will the social medias bar them from writing or messaging you. Another thing you can try to do is to directly address the issue and let this person tell you what you might have done wrong. It could also help you to know if there is something wrong that you did which you might not be aware of.

Do not let the acts of these people change you. You know the reason why you chose to be s3xually inactive till marriage so just stick to it. If you make any decision based on others, you will only end up angry at your own self. You do not have to change a thing at all. The only thing you can do is to look at yourself and know if there is a particular thing that all your exes complain about that might be the reason why they insult you. You know, something in particular that every single one of them might have mentioned at a point on or off the relationship. If you find out what it is and you feel that if you change that thing, you are going to be a better person then fine do it. If you are confused, bring up that particular character with me or a close friend and ask for your friends opinion. Another person might be able to help you create the clarity you need to judge yourself well. But any change you are making should be to better yourself and not to make other people happy.

Just take it easy dear ok? Once again I'm sorry that your exes have to be the way they are. Just be the mature person and do not play along in their game. Take care for now and hope to hear from you soon. Welcome to the family.


Ralph