Dear Ralph: Do I take the job?

The famous DEAR RALPH section of AskRalph blog is dedicated to real people with real life struggles. Click the link to 'read more'. Feel free to contact me by using the email form you will see when you CLICK THIS LINK  or writing directly to my emails raphaelsblogg@gmail.com or askralphblog@gmail.com if you have an issues you want me to discuss. I would also want to encourage everyone that reads to drop their comments and inputs on the issue. Feel free to object or support any advice I give and drop your own thoughts. It's all in the best interest of the poster and the AskRalph family as a whole. So lend your advice and support through the comments section. It'll be really helpful. This is one of the main reasons I opened this blog. If you are reading this then I look forward to your participation. Ralph does not....I repeat DOES NOT have all the answers so your opinion counts a lot.... Alright let's do this!








Dear Ralph,
        Good morning and a Happy weekend to you. I have to say I am impressed by the work you have been doing, I've been reading through your blog and I just want to tell you to keep up the good work. Without wasting much time I want to tell you why I am writing and find out if  you can help me out with my situation. My mum is my only parent that is still alive and she fell ill about 2 weeks ago. I have been doing the best I can for her but the money is not really enough. The reason why she even fell sick again was that we didn't have money for all the medicine that we needed so when the first dose given by the doctors finished she was meant to buy more and take, she missed the medicine and the illness came back again.
      I presently stay at Benin with her and found a job at Warri. It is a bank job and it pays far more than what I am doing now. The problem first of all is that I don't have a place for her to stay in Warri. Secondly if I start the bank job I won't be around to take care of her because bank jobs consume a lot of time. If I leave her and go to Warri I still won't be around to take care of her and that one is even totally canceled because I can't just leave her alone. If I don't take the job her sickness will still keep coming back. I am a little confused on if to take the job or not. I don't want to loose her and I can't stand the fact that I am not able to do anything for her. Please what do I do?


Ola










Dear Ola,

        I am really sorry to hear of your mums health condition, just be rest assured that she is going to be fine, the good part is that this your new job is capable of paying for her treatment so that is one problem solved already. Now we just have to explore options of how you can walk around the rest of the obstacles.

Personally I feel the best thing for you to do would be to move over to Warri for the Job. Yes it is a busy one but at least you will have the money to buy the drugs needed to take care of your mum. I can always tell you to try and borrow but you will be putting yourself into a debt that might cause bigger problems for you in the future. It is a big risk and not everyone will understand you situation, once you owe them, they won't listen to any reason. However I understand your other fears of moving to Warri so I have a couple of suggestions for you.
     

First of all I want you to consider the possibility of getting someone to take care of your mum while you go to work. Since you will be earning higher when you get to Warri, try and look into getting someone to take care of her. If you have a sibling, maybe a younger sibling then you can organize for that person to come and take care of her. If the person is in school or doing something else then also consider the possibility of relocating the person. If it works out then that would be great but if it doesn't I want you to still keep faith. I don't know if you are going to be able to leave your mum with a stranger, just someone you can hire and pay for now to take care of her. If you can then look for someone that is reasonable. Please be careful when you hire these people, interview them well and check their background to be sure they are clean, also watch their behavior before you move out so you know the kind of person they are and to be sure they won't hurt your mum. If possible get a relative or friend of yours to get someone for you, that link would create more fear and respect. If it is a young person then ask to meet with the persons parents and if it is an older person let the person sign an agreement that he/she won't carry out any harmful acts towards your mum. Let the person know you are going to call the police on the person if he/she causes any troubles. The person can stay with your mum until you are well established in the new town and ready to bring her over from Benin.

Another Idea I have is this, since it is a bank, they are most likely going to have a branch in Benin. So why not write them a letter or pay them a visit asking to be transferred to the branch in your present location? They might agree or they might not but you can keep trying until they agree or until you are well settled in the new town to bring your mum over. From what I know about banks, you might still be required to work a little with them until they are able to transfer you back to Benin so just keep trying until they agree. If the manager is friendly then you might be in luck. Transfer is definitely possible so just look at that as a possibility.

Once again I am sorry to hear of your mums condition. I really hope things work out for your and her. Do not worry yourself too much, just keep trying your best and keep trying to get that transfer. Even if it doesn't work out, just keep doing your best at the new job and consider my first advice, something is gong to work out for you. Also aren't their any other relatives that can help out? Even if it's for accommodation for now. Just until you sort yourself out financially to be able to take care of your mum.

Everything will be okay dear, your mum will be fine. Just keep working hard, it's a matter just a matter of time before things start looking up for you. Hard work always gets repaid. I wish your mum a speedy recovery and I wish you the best. Welcome to the family, we are all here for you.


Ralph