Is this why your relationship isn't working?

       
We as humans easily get bored with repeating the same routine over and over again, every single day. We get easily tired of seeing the same faces, going to the same job and going home to the same house every single time. Naturally we always want something new, even if we do not realize it at the point. We get bored easily. I wouldn't say that it means we do not appreciate what we have or that what we have has depreciated in value, not at all. I just simply see it as a human nature to want more.



This is the same thing that happens in our relationships. We get bored of that person we once wanted so much at a particular point in time. Most times it's not because the person changed or that anything went wrong or happened. We just get so used to seeing them everyday and them being around that those things we saw in them and we once cherished either because of the difficulty in having it or the probability of not having it at all becomes easily available and excess to us. Naturally we begin to relax and eventually begin to loose interest. We tend to look closer and see the flaws in these people and even wonder what we were thinking when getting into a relationship with the person in the first place. I have something that I believe in which is, that if you look for something wrong in every or anybody, you will find it in excess. And if you look for something good in people, you would equally find it in excess. So as you can see you would easily find the flaws that you are looking for in your partner and have every reason to be irritated at the person. All right lets pause here for a while and look at something else or should I say Someone else.
 
Now along comes another person with qualities that your partner never possessed. Or even with a couple of qualities that your  partner has but with added bonuses like some extra body features, a better sense of humor, a killer smile and you just feel you can relate with this person better. This person is as patient as your partner once was with you. Gives you your attention when you need it and is there for you at your beck and call. This person is everything your partner once was and more. Now you are slowly drifting away from your partner, you aren't putting in any effort to make things any better in your relationship. In your head you are making up excuses. Remember I told you that if you look for the excuses you would find them. So you are beginning to consider giving in to this person. I mean why not just do it and get it over with? It's not like your partner has been paying you enough attention to even notice that you are slipping away right?  You might even just do it and use that opportunity to break away from your partner and be with someone far better. You start to tell yourself that you deserve happiness and better than what your partner is giving you. You start blaming them for everything that has been going wrong in the relationship and how they aren't even putting in any effort.
    Now you are no more considering that you also have a role to play. That you are equally responsible to make things work and that you might not have been even putting in as much effort as you should. You have a new option now so your attitude has changed. You get more annoying to your significant other and leave them wondering what went wrong.

But then I think you are forgetting something that is called Time. What are you going to do when time passes again and you start noticing the flaws in this new person? Because believe me, you would get used to this new person also and start the cycle all over again. You will start looking for flaws and find them and someone else will surely come along and it would be the same ol' story again. I am not saying you are a bad person for this, as I said before, it's just human nature. Although I am also not giving you the permission to go ahead and accept it and give in just because it's human nature.

I believe that no matter how far you might have gone, you can still correct things. No matter how sour the relationship has gone or how boring it has become, something can always be done. It is natural to admire someone outside but do not let it take over you. Instead introduce whatever it is that you like as a suggestion to your partner. Just the same way you admire a certain feature about a house or a shirt that you like and then you go buy and wear it to make you look better. You do not peel your skin and grow a new one do you? And you don't just break down your house to rebuild a new one just because you saw a better one do you? If not, better ones will keep coming up and you'll keep breaking your house down. What i'm trying to say is that, if you see something good outside why not bring it in and make adjustments to add it.
   If there is something new that you think would spice up your relationship, it's just a matter of discussing it with your hubby. Let the person know the positive impact you feel it would have on you both and how it would help you both. It's just a matter of the right kind of communication at the right time. Encourage them to speak up about their own opinions and also encourage them to feel free to introduce new things to the relationship.

I know that changing a persons behavior or natural character could prove difficult or impossible most times. Especially if the partner in question has no intention of making any changes. Well sometimes you just have to live with what you have right? We can't have everything we ask for. So it's about seeing the best in what we have and finding a way to keep the flame of interest alive.

So whether you have drifted completely, you are drifting, about to drift or thinking about it. Even if you feel you are completely gone and too deep into this kind of mess. You can always find a way back, a way to make amends. It starts from realizing the situation you are in, accepting your roles and responsibilities and doing something about them. Make changes and improvements when you can. Communicate better with your partner and never be afraid to express yourself, as long as you are doing it the right way everything should be fine.

Hope this helps someone out there in this situation. Feel free to drop your comments and suggestion, if you agree or disagree then give me your reasons. We learn and grow everyday and I could learn a thing or two from your comments. Thanks