Dealing with Hearbreak

     In one of my recent posts, I wrote about how a young lady almost ended her life because she was going through a serious heartbreak at the time. But we are glad she is okay today and hopefully, wherever she is she is doing better than she was back then. Well it inspired me to write about a few tips you can use to deal with heartbreak.  Now this is mostly for people that have gone through a bad break up and when there is no hope in fixing things anymore. People that do not know where or how to move on with their life after a break up. You could be caught in anger, regret, sorrow and pain, wondering to yourself, according to award winning musician, Cher,if there is  "life after love". But I want to assure you that it is still possible to move on and even find something better.

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      Whether you were expecting a breakup or not. It can be quite hurtful to part ways with someone who once meant a whole lot to you. To watch that person you once shared a part of you with, a person who played a major role in your life and a person you knew so well turn into a complete stranger. It's particularly more hurtful when you are totally against the separation. But then as difficult as it might be to deal with, we have to learn to accept it as part of life.  We have to know that this happens and that sometimes there is just nothing we can do about it. Letting go could be one of the most difficult things to do, but there is no use in holding on to something or should I say, someone, that has already let you go. Dwelling on the thoughts of the person and putting your life on hold, wallowing in self pity and thinking over and over again about your loss is not going to make things get better. It isn't going to make the person come back, so you have to try and see the situation for what it is.
     You know why I am saying all this? because the first step in healing and picking yourself back up is in accepting that what has ended has ended. In realizing the reality of things and accepting that things are the way they are and that there might be nothing else you would be able to do about them. Living in denial is only going to keep tricking your mind into believing in a situation that is hopeless. You'll end up only hurting yourself again and again through failed attempts at making things better. Without realization, your mind would never be able to comprehend the reasons why or the reality that what happened has happened, talk more of accepting it.  You would find that you'll have made a huge step in getting over your situation by taking this first simple step.

A common mistake that people make, is trying to get back at the person that broke their heart. Trying too hard to show them that you are doing fine without them or trying to set them up in a situation that would hurt them.
      Some come up with different means like inflicting physical pain, ruining their ex's love life or having affairs with their ex's close friends. While this can hurt the person, that is if this person has the conscience to even feel the hurt. You'll find out at the end of the day that you are also dragging yourself lower. I would suggest that you let Karma do the judging and punishing, you do not have to lift a finger. The obsession that you have over hurting these people would only delay your process of healing. It only goes to prove that the person really did a number on you and you might end up just making the person know the power they had and evidently still have over you. If you really want to leave your ex surprised and wondering if they ever meant anything to you. The best thing for you to do would be to carry on with your life like they were never there and be genuinely happy. If you do find another person that you really like then fine, but do not rush it so you don't stand the risk of having another bad experience or hurting another person just because you want to get back to your ex. It wouldn't be fair on the person would it? So with that I would tell you that all you need to do is to just be yourself and concentrate on carrying on with your life so you can actually find genuine happiness and not a forced and false one.
     Trying too hard to show them who is who rarely ends well. Think of how desperate you are going to look. Do you really want to give them that satisfaction of knowing the kind of hold they have over you? Of cos you don't. Instead why not take your time and get over them. Trying over and over again to hurt them would only keep reminding you more and more about them. And you should be spending all that time forgetting about them instead. Forget about revenge in this situation. The only revenge you should carry out is to end up happy.

Another thing you can do is to let go of old memories. This goes out to the gentle hearts out there, those that find it difficult letting go of good and old memories regardless of how bad they hurt. You might want to hang on to all those pictures and videos of fun times with that person. But it only leaves you sad at the end of the day when you are done going through them. You don't want to seem immature by going to burn old memories right? Well let me tell you now that it wouldn't be immature of you. It would only be an effort to move forward in your life and leave the pain behind. You do not need any kind of reminder of that past at this point. But also it is okay not to want to destroy these memories. So if you are the type that prefers to preserve the memories, maybe for other reasons best know to you, then just simply find the strength to put them away, put them somewhere you can't easily reach them. Find a box and lock them in and toss the key away so that you would need to jack the lock in order to look at them again. You lock those memories up physically and get them out of sight and you'll see that the memories would gradually fade from you mind.
      Do it for your own good, do it so you would be able to free your heart and soul from what you are putting them through. Those pictures are only going to be a constant reminder of the pain and hurt you are going through, at least that's what they would be for now. Go out and find happiness, only when you find happiness and give a little time would the pictures turn to old and fun memories that you can laugh over again. But as for now, be strong and find the strength to put them away.

Now I always talk about how I believe in change. It is possible that someone you once loved that left you might come back. It's possible that for whatever reason you went through a breakup that things have a chance at being fixed. But I also believe that they should come back all on their own. Especially if the breakup happened suddenly and they where the cause of it. If you were the cause then it's okay to put up a fight and show that you are sorry. But then again you can only fight for as long as you can and once your energy is spent you would have to give yourself a break and consider moving on or giving them time, hoping they would realize how sorry you are and get back to you.

Do not hold on to hopeless situations, learn to realize the truth and have the strength to work with what you know. Do not trick your mind into believing what you want, deal with the hurt now and get over it once and for all.