Dear Ralph: She won't let me have her phone

Morning Ralph,
           I read your very funny story yesterday night about the girl and who she was chatting with and I laughed really hard but then it got me thinking of my own situation and I decided to bring it to you. You see my girl has refused me going through her phone for any reason. If I tell her I want to look at her phone she asks me what I want to see, if I say that I want to read her chat she refuses but if I say that I want to see pictures she immediately opens up her pictures folder for me and hands the phone over then stays over my shoulder watching what I am doing. Immediately I finish scrolling through pictures she collects the phone back. We got into a fight last 2 weeks where we struggled for her phone because she refused once again, we dragged the phone for a while before I gave up and let her have it. She is still in school and her uni is in another town. I only want to go through these chats to make sure she isn't up to something funny but with the way she is acting I am beginning to suspect a lot. Don't I have the right to go through my woman's phone?
                                                                                                                                       Stanley . O




Hello Stanley
            I understand the insecurities you feel with her behavior and I know that part of the reasons why all this is happening is distance. But First i'll have you know that a relationship where you are constantly playing hide and seek with each other because of lack of trust is really unhealthy. You both need to work more on building up your trust. I have discovered through experience that you don't need to go through a persons personal belongings to know if the person is cheating or not. You might pick up her phone tomorrow and see something implicating and misread it for what it isn't. If you lack so much trust for her because of distance then I think you both should discuss if you can handle the pressure that it's putting on your relationship, then furthermore discuss possible solutions or come to me for help again and i'll be willing to throw in a couple of extra tips. Just save yourselves the headache and talk this through. I want to also point out that the phone is her's and not yours so you didn't have the right to struggle for it with her, remember that she has her right to privacy and if you begin to invade it then you might not like what she would turn into in the future. As I said before I understand your frustration but don't let it lead you into desperation. Take it easy and give her a little space, respect her privacy and as I said before, know if you can handle the relationship with the challenges. I wish you both the best of luck
                                                                                                                                                Ralph