Dear Ralph: Would it be possible to love him

Hi Ralph,

     Love what you are doing for the community. Please keep up the good work. Now for my own problem. Well it is not exactly a problem. Just that I am a little confused on what to do right now. You see I have always been brought up to stay at home. I went to school from home even until my university and I never really saw a problem with it. My parents needed help and I was happy to be around for them. I never really got into any relationship because of my studies. I knew right from time that if I allowed myself to be distracted I won't go anywhere in life so its safe to say I have never had a boyfriend.
Right now I am 25 and single. I rarely go out till now not because I am still restricted, just because I have gotten used to this lifestyle and I am quite comfortable like this. My mum is beginning to nag me about getting married. There is a family friend of ours that comes around and has been trying to get with me but I know I don't love him. I just see him as another human being walking around. I do not have any feeling for him whatsoever. But I and a couple of friends have been talking and they think I should go ahead and be with him. They say he is a nice guy from the few times they have been in the house and he came to look for me. And they think that we really fit together. I on the other hand cannot see what they mean by this because I am not moved by him at all and the thought of having to do things with him just doesn't sit well, I am still sealed between the legs by the way. I am thinking of giving him a chance but I don't know if it is wise. I still believe in love and that I should only be with someone I love. Can you advice me on this? Should I give him a chance or is this wrong? Would I be lying to him and myself?

                                                                                                                                                     Adaeze

Dear Adaeze,

          I think it would be okay to give him a chance. You see it isn't a must to be totally in love from the beginning. Certain people start out not having any kind of interest in themselves but eventually end up in love. Seeing that you aren't dating anybody presently and you aren't being forced into marriage. It might actually be okay to give this a try. The worst that could happen is that things wouldn't work out for you two. And if it works out then that would just be wonderful. Left for me you actually would need the practice because dating is quite difficult, it comes with a lot of complications and the sooner you are able to experience it and know where your own flaws are, what works for you and what doesn't. Then you would be able to prepare your mind more for the main thing. And as long as you let him know that you are just trying the relationship out and not painting the picture that you love him, then you aren't deceiving him. You already know what you feel so that takes care of you also.

Just keep an open mind and go into it freely. Explore and see how it really is, this would help you find out a whole lot more about yourself than you already know. You don't have to get into anything you don't want to right now. He might make advances and he might not, the thing is to maintain your stance and only give in when you are sure it is what you want. So don't worry, keep your seal as tight as you want for as long as you want, it's yours to break when you feel like it.

One more thing is to make sure that you aren't doing this because of any pressure. As much as the experience is good for you. Going in because of pressure would only have you regretting it if things go wrong. And that would lead you to pointing accusing fingers and blaming those that pressured you for setting you up. So make sure that this is totally what you want. 

Hope it works out for you and if this doesn't, don't worry someone else would come along. You will be fine. And finally my own question. Would you like to join our family? Sorry you don't have a choice my dear so don't answer that. Welcome!

                                                                                                                                                       Ralph