Dear Ralph: I don't understand her signals

Hi Raphael,
        I have an issue right now, there is a girl in my school. I have had a crush on her for two years now but haven't been able to say anything about it. I am kind of shy and afraid of facing rejection. She is really pretty, smart, possesses very good features and I really wish she was mine. The problem is that sometimes she confuses me with the signals she throws at me. Sometimes she acts like she likes me and wants me and other times she just acts like I don't exist at all. There are times when we are close and I just feel like she is beginning to understand my intentions and then other times it is like she is a totally new person. She would then treat me like I am just a friend in front of her girlfriends and It is so embarrassing for me. I really want to be with her but don't know how to go about it. Is there a way I would be able to understand the kind of light she is shining for me or what she wants at least. I don't even know if I should ask her out or not. I await your answer, Thank you.

                                                                                                                                          Anonymous    







Dear Anonymous,
        The thing is that there could be a million reasons to her behavior. You can never really tell just by looking at her and assuming. And from the position I am and with the little information you have give me, all I can suggest is that you come out straight and tell her how you feel. She might reject you and she might accept you,you can never be too sure. But honestly if you are going to go out with a girl you like then you would have to know that you stand a chance of facing rejection and still be able to try it out. So or else she comes herself to tell you that she likes you, you can never be 100% sure if she is actually into you. Playing it safe isn't always the best option in these situation, you could pass up a chance at a wonderful opportunity and experience with this girl. Left for me, as long as there is a possibility at all that she would accept you then no matter how thin it might be, just give it a try.

The worst that could happen is that you get rejected. Do not let it hurt your pride too much, this is something that must guys have gone through and it is just part of life. Life is too short to let your pride stop you from being with someone that your heart clearly wants. So just go and ask her out or at least mention you intentions to her. Take a chance at this.

Finally the reason I would prefer you mentioning it to her is because if you keep going on like this you might be friend zoned forever. It is better to let the lady know your intention from the onset and get it over with. Do not lead her into believing that you are just a friend when you want to be more than that, that is a very big mistake that most men use as a strategy but it fails most times. So define your interest sooner than later to her.

Hope things go well for you and you get your woman. Take care for now and hit me up once you get any additional information.

                                                                                                                                                       Ralph



N.B: To the poster, Please if you see this then check your mail. I have been trying to contact you and clear up a couple of things. Also providing me with any additional information that could help me understand your situation more personally would help. Probably a history of you and the girl and your friendship. Examples of times that she had given you a go ahead and other times she has acted otherwise. Thanks