Dear Ralph: Duped by a friend

Hello Ralph,
         I have a friend that I used to trust but with what she has done I don't think I would ever bring myself to trust her again. We used to do everything together and I used to count her as my best friend but it seems she is just a backstabber. I wanted to start a business selling shoes and it happened to be that she travels out a lot. So I told her of what I wanted, she agreed to it and told me that the next time she is to travel out that she would collect money from me and buy my goods for me. We started things off the way we discussed and although the shoes were more expensive than I thought for shoes being bought in Dubai, somehow I managed to sell them off. I went for another batch and then another. It was one day that I met someone to sell my shoes to and told her my price, when I told her she frowned and asked me if I am the only person that brings things in from Dubai.
I though it was usual pricing but then told me that I should go and ask others what they sell those particular grade of shoes and walked away. I thought of it and because I was already suspecting that mine was really expensive, I went ahead to look for other people that sell. I later found out that mine was being sold almost double the price and frankly I was shocked I could make any sales at all. I confronted my friend and she didn't even deny it. What she simply told me was that she needed to make her own money also and that if I thought she was an errand girl that she would be sending up and down. I was angry and felt very betrayed. This my friend knows my condition in life and that the reason I cannot travel is because my husband is late and I am stuck taking care of 3 children. I have to pay for their bills myself with no help from anybody. She knows my struggles and everything I've been through but still chooses to use my to make money for herself. She is married and gets good money from her husband but I admit I have always known that she was greedy, I just never thought she would use it on me. I don't even know what else to do because I am already having double mind ordering another batch from her and now that I want to start going into jewelries and clothing also, I wonder what she would do. Please I need your help and advice on this.

                                                                                                                                                        Kemi













Dear Kemi,
        I believe one of the best things to do in this situation is to look for a good loan. You need to start travelling out on your own to make these purchases. I know it is going to be difficult for you because of the children you have but if you can tell me their ages, I might be able to help you with something. You don't have to go to Dubai and spend a month, I know someone that goes for 4 days and comes back with tons of goods, good quality stuff too. You just have to maybe discuss with your mum or any other person that can take care of them while you are gone. It would be easier on you if they were in school or grown to an extent. If some can't be left alone then you would have to find out the possibility of travelling with a toddler or infants from an agent or any other person with the information. The most important thing is securing a loan though.

There is another option which is through your friend. Since she has decided that this would be treated as business, I think you should discuss with her a general price that you can pay her for her services. If possible you both should sign an agreement stating all the terms and conditions, you might  be reluctant doing this but this is for your own good, your friend is clearly a business woman so I think she should agree and understand. Please also make it a priority to demand your receipts of purchase from her. That way you can see the real purchase price on the receipt and together with the amount you pay your friend you can begin to calculate the total money you have put it an know how best to regulate the price you are selling. Keep a closer eye on others selling the same thing as you are and how their prices go up or down.

I am sorry that your friend had to do this to you but at least now you know that when it comes to business she thinks about strictly business. It is up to you to know if you still want her as a friend. I am just glad that at least she didn't hide what she was doing from you or try to lie about it when you confronted her. She simply and clearly showed you that it was all about business now. So you would have to decide if you still want her to keep helping you with these trips, if you want to get someone else to do it for you or if you want to start going yourself.

Be strong my dear, you are built tough and built to last. You are going to be fine and pull through this. Also please be careful and try to know your friends a little bit more so they don't always surprise you. Take care for now.

                                                                                                                                                       Ralph