Dear Ralph: How do I tell him?

Dear Ralph,
        I have a boyfriend that I have been dating for 3 years.We are very in love with each other and if things go according to plan we would get married soon. I cannot wait to be his wife and he cannot wait to be my husband. Ever since we met he has never been shy about talking of marriage. He understands me well and I understand him also, in fact we are soul mates. The problem is this, whoever intertwined our souls did not try. He gave us everything but did not give my man an understanding for how to buy gifts. I don't mean that I hate him for this, I think it is very cute and I like to see how happy he is when he buys a gift for me and I pretend to like it and scream with joy. I really appreciate his effort, but ladies would understand what I mean. If you do not like a particular color, no matter what, you just don't like it. So now imagine that color in a style that you would never ever wear.
Now that is what he does, he gives the worst gifts ever. And he is so happy doing it. Christmas is coming and I am sure he would want to get a gift for me and I am also very sure he would carefully without knowing go and select something that I wouldn't like and give me. Please and please Ralph, how do I stop him from doing this all the time without hurting him. My boo is very fragile and I don't want to break his heart. But I don't want him to keep wasting his money on things I would never like or never wear. Speaking of wearing, he makes me put on the gifts if they are clothes and go out with him after that. And  when I wear it, you can imagine how embarrassed I feel. But I love him and I don't care what people say, as long as I am with him. Please how do I do this, how do I stop him from destroying my wardrobe with bad gifts. hahahaha

                                                                                                                                             Kenny's Babe











Hello Kenny's Babe,
         You seem to have a very unique man with a unique sense and taste for gifts. You have to keep wearing those things and learn to love them o!  Lol. Just kidding, get my advice below dear.


I have two ways that I can suggest to you, directly or indirectly and this first one is directly. You sound like the both of you have a very good understanding with each other and it seems like you two have a lot of fun. So I think you shouldn't be scared, all you need to do is openly state to him that you do not like the kind of gifts he gives. Now do not come out and say it rudely with a frowning face. Make it clear that you want to make fun and that you aren't trying to insult him but still make him know that you are serious. Laugh over it together and make a joke out of the selection of gifts he gives, how he carefully picks the wrong thing every time. You could even throw in a couple of jokes about how you look ridiculous and uncomfortable in the gifts when he makes you put them on. That way he would feel comfortable knowing that you are just making fun generally,not basing only on him or trying to pull his spirit down and you would still pass your message across. So if you both are the very jovial type that understand each others jokes then you might consider this particular approach.

Now indirectly you can just keep dropping hints on what you would actually like. Hint your favorite color to him frequently. If you see a particular dress you might like, just point it out and tell him how you want that exact same dress. But do not make it look like you are becoming too demanding or materialistic, that is why I tell you to "HINT" at these things. Just randomly show him things and give him time to understand your sense of fashion. Through dresses you see in a movie, walking by a shop and clothes that other women are putting on, keep trying to show him the kind of fashion sense that you prefer. Now note that this method could take some time so you would need some patience with him to learn. But if it looks like it isn't working then you might wan to take the direct approach and just tell him straight up about what you like and explain to him that you are not being ungrateful.

Generally just give him some time to adjust. Not all men would understand what a woman wants and how she wants it. So give him some time to get used to things. Show him what you like and what you don't. Teach him yourself and keep trying with him until he starts getting it right.

I am happy for your relationship, you really sound like things are going very good for you. I hope things carry on like this for the both of you. Stay happy and welcome to the family. I am guessing your mans name is Kenny, tell him he is welcome to the family also if he reads this blog.

                                                                                                                                                     Ralph