Who is doing Who a favor?

And the war between men and women rages on....I'm loving my view from the bench. These front row seats to the gender wars is just awesome! Yeap, you head that right, you can all go ahead and hate each other but I've always sat this sort of thing out and i'll keep sitting it out. heheheh...

Now before we dive into the topic I want to ask you a question. Between a man and a woman, who do you think is really doing who a favor. Ask yourself this question and have your answer by heart. By the time we are finished you might change your answer and have a whole new view of things or you might still keep to your answer who knows. Either way just read up on the post below.  Alright then...Let's get this started.









Some of these pictures, d.p's and write ups that pop up every now and again really send the wrong message and are contributing to an increasing percentage of issues in relationships today. We need to understand that they are written by people in certain conditions at certain times. People who might have even gotten way past the way they were feeling when they wrote that message. The problem is that the message stays back and does a lot of damage even after it's creator has moved on. Take this one below for example.



 I saw this message  or have seen it a couple of times but recently a popular comedian "A.Y" posted it and it appeared on blogs and picked my interest. I would love to know what you people feel about it and at the same time drop my own view on this matter. Find my response to this below... *Takes Deep breath*

On seeing a message like this that is challenging and almost belittling to the men, certain people, mostly the female folks chant praises of approval and almost force themselves into those shoes. You know the shoes i'm talking of, the shoes of men that do not appreciate the presence of their women. They force themselves into those shoes even when the men in their lives have been the best of the best or at least trying their best. They adopt the mind state of seeing themselves as a favor to the male crowd but I have found that often times, our own doom is born in our mind state and our demise is brought upon us by none other than we ourselves. Why do I say this? Well It's simple really...You want to be a favor to a man? Then that is absolutely what you are going to be, nothing more and nothing less. You want to be a favor to a woman? All fine and good, that is what you are going to be. You want him to see you as a favor? Fine that is exactly what will happen if you succeed in convincing him that, that is exactly what you are. So how is this a problem you ask? Well then let me explain better to you....

If you treat yourself or see yourself as a favour then that is exactly what you will be...a favour waiting to be repaid and guess what happens when someone repays a favor. The favor seizes to exist, its spent and has no value again. That is exactly what you are trying to do by looking at yourself as a favor on your partner. Once he decides to repay that favor, he would do it with the mind state of freeing himself from that debt. Yes, you become a debt that is waiting to be repaid and forgotten.Think of it, when and each time you read that quote that we have above. You did not smile or nod in approval and maybe have in your heart that you are a blessing to your man, you don't stop and feel proud of yourself even. What happens is this feeling of neglect comes and is followed by a sense of challenge and hostility towards members of the opposite sex. I wouldn't be surprised if for a moment there you stopped to make up your mind that if your man ever tried to act like he was doing you a favor you would show him who is who. Well what is what a "favor" that isn't being appreciated enough or at all feels like. So if you feel that you are favor on your partner then you might have some emotions to handle. Favors run out of their value when they are repaid, however a partner, now that is something that lasts.

Alright just take a look at some of the contents of the picture above...." Gets pregnant for you? Bears Children for you? Does everything for you? Till the day she dies everything she does benefits you!" A marriage or relationship that is built like this isn't healthy at all. If this is the condition of things in your home, if you do not see those kids that you bear as being yours also and the things you do in your home as a woman as beneficial to both you and the whole family then honestly you have a huge problem in your household. A Marriage is a partnership and not a one sided thing where one does favors for the other. If a woman feels her pregnancy is for the man alone and not for her also then for her own good she should not get pregnant for the man. You know why? Because any lack of appreciation from the man or neglect (which is wrong of cos) would end in a fight. She will eventually end up bitter if a chain of similar events keep happening. This would ultimately lead to that family and marriage/relationship crashing.

Do not get me wrong on this post, this isn't an attack on any particular gender. To make it more clear that it's not, I am going to talk to the men. Now to the men. Your women are to be respected, loved and adored. They are to be taken as partners, they can be assistants only when one person has to lead and the role for that particular task falls on the man(yes, women can lead also when it comes to it). Your woman? You should really love and adore that woman, she should be your partner and not some "favor to you". You should see her as a blessing instead of as someone sent to do you a favor. A favor comes with a condition and most times they aren't favorable but a woman isn't a favor and shouldn't see herself as one if not she would become just that, a favor upon the man, patiently waiting for her conditions to be broken so she can pounce. That is where the women are at fault, they constantly see themselves as a favor that has to be repaid by loyalty of some sort. Your relationship isn't a business agreement is it?

Statements like these ones we have on that picture are wrong because of that same reason of the ladies sounding like a "Favor". A woman has her duties to do in a household which the man cannot carry out and so does the man but if it comes as a favor and not something they each do willingly then every mistake from the man or woman will be over emphasized and issues will keep arising from nothing. A woman can't get pregnant without a man and a man can't have a child without a woman. When the child comes out, the woman cannot say she finds no joy in looking on that child's face. So if you love your child, why would you look at that child as a favor that you did for your man and not something that you are proud of doing as a woman.

My advice to the ladies is this, do not do anything for anybody. If you are not happy playing your role as a woman or you somehow feel you are doing your man a favor by playing those roles then don't do it at all. Leave until you find someone you are happy to do those thing "With" and not "for". To the men, the sooner you learn to give the ladies the respect they deserve, the happier your home would be. And finally back to the ladies, you need to be respected and adored but you also need to give the men something to respect and adore. You have to show the men why they need to pick you and make you a partner, if not then you will find your relationship hitting the rocks in no time.

Finally....Please this post isn't intended discredit women, men or the comedian that posted this. I saw the message and a couple of reactions to it and thought that I should correct some views that a lot of people have. I love the women in my life. I just feel that the message sends a lesson that could be misleading and dangerous to relationships and marriages.


So what do you think of this? Should we really be talking of favors in our relationships and marriages. I really think not but this is just the opinion of one man. I'll like to hear yours. Don't forget to drop your comments....