Dear Ralph: After Intimacy I lose Interest

Hello Ralph
       Is it normal for a guy to loose interest in a girl after having pre intimacy or beyond that with her? Because even after getting along with a girl, the moment she offers intimacy and we do it, I see myself backing off. I might come with the sole interest of love but if along the line we kiss or go beyond that, I suddenly loose interest. Sometimes I am the one that pushes for it but once it happens I start doubting the love immediately and just back off. I don't always have have love making in mind, but whenever I am close to a girl maybe in my house or hers, the funny feelings just arises but then after that I pull away. I admire a girl more when she keeps pushing me away from her. What do you think the problem is? Is this normal?

                                                                                                                                                Yemi





Dear Yemi
        This isn't abnormal at all. Whats happening to you is quit simple because it's like getting money that you didn't work very hard for, you will easily blow it and not see the worth of it. I think you need to spend more time trying to get to know a lady more when you meet her, try to develop a bond that isn't just physical. Give yourself some time before you get into intimacy if you must, try a couple of months and if possible a year or even more. You said it when you mentioned that you like when a girl pushes you, I think you are more attracted to the ladies that don't give into emotions easily. But just be careful because the fact that a lady gave into intimacy easily doesn't make her cheap, she might just really like you a lot. Here is another thing I can suggest. If you really like a girl and want to spend a long time with her and she is pushing for it then explain to her what happens once you have intimacy so easily with someone. I believe when you meet the right person the bedroom activities won't matter because her qualities will pull you in and even if you contemplate leaving you will know what you would miss with her. But do not worry there is absolutely nothing abnormal or wrong with you, there are other guys and even girls like you out there

                                                                                                                                                     Ralph