Dear Ralph: My marriage is crashing

Dear Ralph,

    I want you to help me out here. I am a mother of three kids, their ages are 14 years, 3 years and a 5 month old baby. I just resumed from my maternity leave and this very good guy is on my case. He has told me how he feels about me and I am beginning to feel likewise. I have a very loving husband who will do anything I want but this guy is really doing things I like to me. Lately my hubby and I have been quarreling a lot that I know he is cheating on me, but that does not give me reason to give into this. I will love to still be treated as a lovely pretty girl once in a while but he (hubby) does not treat me like that anymore. I really hope you help me on this because I will so appreciate it. Thanks

                                                                                                                                            Anonymous













Dear Anonymous,
                 Just take it easy for now and concentrate on what I have to say. I like the fact that you already know what is right to do and what is wrong. Do not give into this, there is no guarantee that things won't also fade off in no time with this new guy so what you should do is work on what you already have. I think the reason you are feeling the way you are right now for the new guy is because you have been neglected for a while and you miss feeling special to someone, but don't just throw away a marriage that is about 17 years plus. Why not look for a way to fix that which is broken. You and your husband need a very long and deep talk. You both need to trace back to where you both started drifting apart.
       Here is something you both can try. Sit together and recall all those fun memories you've both had so far, pull out old pictures and reminisce on the old times. The memories will help you remember the way you both used to be with each other at the beginning and help you find that spark again. Let him know that he hurts you with the way he treats you and that you feel neglected, show him that there is a man that is trying to win your heart but that you are right there with him and willing to fight for what you have. Let him help out and also tell you what you do that he doesn't like so that you know where to start correcting yourself from. Be strong and forget about this new guy for now, have your husband treat you that way that the guy does and if your husband does do some good things and tries to an extent then appreciate the ones he does openly to him. Remember that you can never get everything you want in one person, if you go with the other man believe me there are qualities you might find in that new guy that you won't like, you will definitely find something he lacks that your husband has then start missing your husband when its too late. You already stated that your hubby is a very loving man that will do what you want so don't worry you both should just be open to each other and work this through, this is just a phase that is bound to happen in any long term relationship, its good that you have noticed and are willing to do something. It won't be easy but it is definitely worth fighting for. If you start losing faith and you look for where to find hope or a reason to continue, then look at your 3 beautiful children, I guarantee you that you will find all the reasons to keep pushing.

Be strong for yourself and for your family, you can do this! Find the strength within yourself again and keep fighting for your marriage. Everything will be fine in due time. Best of luck dear...
     
                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                    Ralph