Dear Ralph: Mysterious girl

The famous DEAR RALPH section of AskRalph blog is dedicated to real people with real life struggles. Click the link to 'read more'. Feel free to contact me by using the email form you will see when you CLICK THIS LINK  or writing directly to my emails raphaelsblogg@gmail.com or askralphblog@gmail.com if you have an issues you want me to discuss. I would also want to encourage everyone that reads to drop their comments and inputs on the issue. Feel free to object or support any advice I give and drop your own thoughts. It's all in the best interest of the poster and the AskRalph family as a whole. So lend your advice and support through the comments section. It'll be really helpful. This is on of the main reasons I opened this blog. If you are reading this then I look forward to your participation. Ralph does not....I repeat DOES NOT have all the answers so your opinion counts a lot.... Alright let's do this!












Dear Ralph,
        I met a girl about 3 months ago, she was on the road and I pulled up and offered her a lift. We exchanged numbers and started talking. When we go out she pays her own bills and never lets me pay for her. She told me her name was Ify and about a week after we met she said she lied to me about her name. You won't believe this but up till today I don't know her name. We have been intimate for about 2 months now and I still don't know her name. She is something else on bed and if you saw her on the street you wouldn't know that she would be able to pull off the things she does on bed. I don't know where she lives, I don't know the first thing about her. She actually tells me when she wants to see me and then schedules where we should meet. If I tell her that I want to pick her up she would refuse and tell me to meet her up. I thought it was going to be just a one night stand thing but I can't lie to you, these games she is playing has hooked me bad. She makes breakfast for me when she sleeps over and she is a killer cook. I swear, if I see her putting poison in her food I think i'll still go ahead and eat it. I am just so confused, I don't know if we are dating or what we are. Each time I ask her she just laughs and tells me not to worry myself too much. It kind of creeps me out but I am really hooked. My head is spinning with both love and confusion. What do you make out of this Ralph. I haven't even stated half of the mystery, she is just really really strange. Please help me out here as soon as possible. Thank you, and I hope to get a reply soon.


Daniel













Dear Daniel,
        I have to admit, this is the first time I am dealing with an issue like this. I can just imagine how confused you might be,however I think you can still do something about this.

First of all I want you to know that it all depends on you and what you want. You have two options here. You can either keep chasing after her and hope you crack her code one day,  you can hope she gives you her password or...you can stop chasing after her and hope the games end and she comes out straight.

If you choose to keep going after her, depending on who she is, persistence might be just what she needs. You can keep trying and looking for ways to get to know her more. The more you get to know her the better for you. The problem is that any information she gives you would still be questioned by you. Since she has given you a false one before, it would be hard for you to believe anything she says. However you can still choose to keep going after her and trying your best to get to know the things you need to know. This is keeping her around you for now and for all we know, she is just happy the way things are right now, the question is are you? Are you okay with the way things are? Do you want to carry on like this?

Secondly, you can choose to relax and have her come by herself or should I say hope she comes to you. The good thing about this is that you can stop worrying yourself for a change and just wait for her to make up her mind. This option is a risk, it might not work for her but if it works you get to define things between the both of you more. As things stand now, you hardly have a hold on things or even a say but if this works you will find a better footing with her. Also if she bites the bait then you get to have a higher chance to set the condition of things and how you want them to be. If she still wants to see you then you can tell her that you have to know a lot more about her before you both can continue anything. The down side is that this could push her away from you and you might never hear from her again. With the way things are, if she disappears you won't be able to trace her or else you meet her out of luck again. On the good side, you get to save yourself all the headache of playing games.

Honestly Daniel like I said earlier, it all depends really on what you really want. Do you like the games? Can you keep going on like this? Do you genuinely want something meaningful from her or is your new found determination because you subconsciously want to beat her game? After you beat her game would she still be as interesting to you as she is now? Just think of these questions and answer them to yourself and you will know how best to carry on.


As for what I make out of this. She could be anybody honestly. She could married, singled, with child, a set up by someone or just someone that is genuinely interested in you but loves playing games. Whoever she might be I think it would be better if you find out first before proceeding to continue anything with her. You have to know where you stand with her to avoid any heart breaks or dissapointments tomorow. She has to say if you both are a thing or not. Also sharing your bed regularly with someone this anonymous is quite a risk, you have to know if the intimacy is that important to you and if you are willing to risk it. For the least I hope you are being careful and using protection. It is different when it's a random girl in your area that you had a one night with or a regular acquaintance of yours that you call up when you are in need. At least if it's the regular acquaintance, you will know something about the person. But this situation?...this is really strange.. Please I can only ask you to be careful. This could be nothing but then again, it could be something. Stay safe.


NB: Please don't eat poisoned food on purpose.



Ralph