Dear Ralph: My husband wants me to remove it (update)

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Dear Ralph,
         I finally gathered the courage to talk to my husband and as usual he has never been someone to be reasoned with. I asked what the problem was and he never agreed to tell me. I have been crying ever since that thing happened. I finally met him and he started shouting at me that I have been cheating on him. That I think he wouldn't find out, that the baby isn't his own. I have never cheated on him and I never plan on doing that. Things got heated up and he told me that the reason we haven't been able to have a child was because of him.
He said that he went to the hospital some time ago and that the doctor confirmed that there wasn't a high chance for him to pregnant a woman. I think he said something about low count or so. I was too busy in my head wondering how to remember. I have been begging him that I haven't cheated on him and now he is threatening to throw me out of the house if I won't remove the child. I am really confused because if what he is saying is true and that he can't have a child. Then how did I get pregnant? I have never cheated on him before so you can imagine how surprised I am about all this. I might break down if the arguments and drama continues. The house is always so tense now and we argue worse that before. He keeps on telling me of how he gave me the grace to remove the child so we can keep living in peace and forget that I have gotten pregnant for another man but that I want to play him as a fool and have him take care of another mans child. I am really confused right now and it is getting only worse. Please any extra advice or something I can tell him would help. Leaving him is not an option, he is a good man. He just has his own bad sides. Thank you


                                                                                                                                               Anonymous














Dear Anonymous,
           This explains things a little bit better. I still stand on you not removing it. You cannot afford to loose this, not after 9 years. You need to think of what damage it will cause for you if you cannot get this lucky again. It won't be easy for you to get pregnant again and depending on how things go it might never happen again, although we hope against that. Also remember that the procedure in removing it is quite dangerous, so just take you time and think again about this.

I think you should offer your husband an idea. Let him join you to the hospital so that he can check his status again. Let him know if anything has changed, maybe the medicine or any other treatments he has been given might be working and he won't know. Also I am not a doctor and I want to take a wild guess at what you might have heard him saying when he was talking about low count. If he is suffering from that (low sp**m count), I do not think that it rules out the possibility of having a child totally. I think it only  makes it very rare. So this might have been his lucky jackpot and he just doesn't know it yet. He is naturally stubborn from what you have said about him so you would still have to be patient with him. . You should  be okay as long as you know deep in your heart that you didn't do anything. At the end of the day the truth would definitely come to reality so just please be strong and patient.

If he still doesn't agree to go for the check up or to meet a doctor at least, then I guess you would have to ask him to be patient with you so that you can go for a DNA test after the child is born. That would prove once and for all if the baby is his own or not and end all this headache. Also if you read the comment from one of the readers, you would see that the person suggested involving parents. I think this is a good time to do that also. Let your parents know first of all and then if they want they can involve his parents. Let all of you discuss the best way to handle this. I believe when they are involved it would be less likely that you would be thrown out of the house. So just calm down and be strong. I know it really isn't easy and you don't deserve this but just take a deep breath and be okay at least for your baby. Everything would pass by in due time.

If you do have any new development later you can still let us know and I would be happy to let everyone know of how it is going and offer more help if it is needed. Take care for now, hope to hear good news soon.

         
                                                                                                                                                         Ralph