Dear Ralph: I really need to balance my work and love life

Hi Ralph,
              So I recently finished med school and since starting my house job I've been miserable. I completely hated med school which is weird because I wasn't forced into it. But its even worse now that I'm working. The work hours are absolutely ridiculous. The stress is taking a toll on me. I've been miserable for quite a while now so I've been on antidepressants. Thing is I can't speak to my psychiatrist about this because we work in the same hospital and I don't want him looking at me differently. This career has taken a toll on me in my relationships.
Since I was a med student, keeping a relationship past 3 months was truly a miracle and once it hit that 3 month mark, I would break up
with whoever I was dating because I was always so unavailable, busy and moody, i'd call it quits so the guy could find better. Recently I had been suffering from anhedonia. I couldn't get any pleasure from anything and my recent ex was suffering because of it. I was the usual unavailable, busy and just always so freaking stressed and my relationship suffered and yea it was only 2 months. This guy is amazing, he understood my struggles and didn't mind that I was always busy, he was the fun outgoing type. Love making was horrible because like I said the stress has been unreal and all I wanna do is sleep. But I give into it because I feel like I need to please him since he's been this good to me. So I finally ended the relationship which has been killing me because I was trying to save him the trouble of being with a depressed busy person who has no time for him or even provide him pleasure. Except that I miss him, I don't exactly wanna go beg him to come back to me but I need serious advice on how to beak this psychological mess of me always trying to end relationships even when the guy is great just cause i'm always busy and "mood swingy". I guess I'm asking if you have any advice on how to balance my job and relationship.

                                                                                                                                     Anonymous


Good day Anonymous
                          I would advice that you start by taking some time off from work, the medical career is really demanding and requires a lot of focus, at your present state the best thing for you and everybody would be to take a break. Break away from your normal routine and do something new and fresh, think of something you've always loved or always wanted to do. It would definitely feel refreshing. From all the school stress you passed through you have started working without any rest in-between and things will only get harder as you climb higher. The holiday should ease you up a little. If possible schedule a visit with a different psychiatrist because you still need to get yourself checked. You need to be around friends and loved ones, people that make you laugh because right now you do not need any kind of negativity. Go out and have some fun, take up a sport, exercise to take your mind off things. Even the movies you choose to see should be well selected, preferably comedy and anything fun.
       You will slowly but surely get better okay? so give yourself some time to get there. As for your relationship life. It is okay to remain single for now until everything going on with you settles down, as you know relationships come with their own headaches, so just let it go for now and work on yourself first. Concentrate on getting better, and when you finally get back to being the cheerful person that I am sure you are going to be, then you can get back with your ex if it is still possible. If not then fine, don't dwell on it, things happen for a reason and know then that the best thing you would have done was what you did. But when things start getting tough again tomorrow don't shut your partner out, try to let him in instead and share the problems, allow him to support and help you through the hard times, that is what they are there for especially if it is an understanding person, it will help you a lot to deal with your issues and strengthen the bond you both share. Never feel like a burden to the one you love, your problem is theirs.
       But for now just take it a day at a time, everything will fall in place in due time. You will surely be back and bubbling again in no time. Wish you a speedy return and best of luck.

                                                                                                                                                  Ralph