Dear Ralph: He wont use his Fingers!

Good morning Ralph,
         I came across you blog and I wanted to ask for you help. By the way your blog rocks and I am already fan.
       My fiance doesn't like to use his fingers on me! and I really like that a lot. He says it scares him, he thinks he would be hurting or injuring the female that's why. I have asked him severally but he won't budge. Now I am going to miss that for the rest of my married life and I don't deprive him of any thing.

Kindly advice.
                                                                                                               
    Good morning Anonymous
                  I will tell you something you can do but first try to find out if hurting you is he's only fear, some people might actually just not like the idea of putting a finger into a woman for other reasons, so clear things up with him first, if he is only scared about hurting you then here's a suggestion....
          First of all call him once again and talk to him, tell him how much you would really want him to use he's hands on you, express the fear you feel about not enjoying intimacy throughout your married life because he refuses to please you in other ways. Then tell him not to worry that you will show him how to do it and make it pleasurable and not painful, reassure him that you know your body and your limits more than him so that he shouldn't worry. Now next time you make love you need to take charge but seductively. Let him lay down and during foreplay reassure him with words that he should just follow your lead and everything will be fine. Sit in front of him with your back to him and your legs spread then take he's arms, tell him not to worry that he would start with only one finger before proceeding to higher numbers. Slowly guide he's hand down, but don't rush right in even if you are ready,you need to ease him into it, let him play around with your laps, your clitoris and the outer lips first, show him how wet you have gotten and how easy its going to be, now gently select he's index finger (the one after the thumb) and guide it into you, tell him to move slowly and gently, make sure to keep your back in motion and rock back and fort slowly just for the extra effects, make sure that when you feel the pleasure you let him know how good it feels. It will help in giving him some confidence. From there you can slowly lure him into adding he's middle finger or more depending on what you can take. You are a woman and you have it in you to be seductive so use that power, he will find it hard to resist if you know how to work him up.
           Be patient with him also, it might take a while for him to get the hang of it. I have other tips but try this out and get back to me if it doesn't work. Either ways we have to get his hands to be more involved in that relationship...*wink*
               
                                                                                                                                                  Ralph