Dear Ralph : I think I love someone But I don't trust her

Hello Ralph,
       I came across your blog and honestly I love your work and I must say keep it up. I have a problem and would really need your assistance here.
      I am 26 years old and never had a serious relationship. My reasons are: 1.) I have trust issues especially when it comes to women
2.) I get tired of women especially when offended I feel irritated easily and I stop taking their calls or replying their texts
3.) I am afraid of commitment because I am really scared of heart break.

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      Furthermore, I just started a relationship with a girl, I like her a lot but I don't even know if I love her although I do think about her a whole lot and even get jealous when she talks to guys. I really want to be serious with this girl but she has given me a lot reasons why I can't even trust her, she deletes her text messages both inbox and sent and when I ask her she says its her phone and she can do whatever she wants with it and I still go further to ask who this guys are and she says they are just her friends which makes me wonder, if they are her friends they delete the messages

                                                                                                                                            James    

Hello James
                  Let me start by tackling your personal problems, the truth is that waiting to be absolutely sure of a person before giving your trust and commitment might sound safe but doesn't work most of the time. It is okay to actually take a leap of faith once in a while, there is no other way that you will get to know a person better if you don't give it a try. And as long as we are humans, differences will always come up so ignoring texts and calls will never solve anything instead face the relationship issue head on and actually try to show that you want to make things work. In other words you need to loosen up a little bit more.
             With the new girl in your life, love isn't always at first sight for everybody, sometimes it takes time to grow into what you want it to be so give it some time and effort to know where it leads you two, it could turn out to be wonderful or just another miss. Jealousy is actually okay as long as you maintain it at a moderate and healthy level, you will have to accept that she would have other males in her life, the thing is to trust her to know where her heart is, do not let your trust issues and jealousy cause problems for the both of you if there isn't a strong reason for it. If she doesn't like sharing her messages with you then it is fine for now, the relationship is still young, you need to give her some space and stop checking her messages so she knows that she isn't with someone that is out to control her life, I understand you do it for security but everybody needs some breathing space regardless. Just take it gradually and let it flow naturally so it can grow into what it should be, you are already making a lot of progress by putting in effort to be serious with this one.
   If at the end it doesn't work out don't think it's the end. It would have by then just been one experience with one person out of the millions of beautiful women out there. Brush off the disappointment and try again. Best of Luck with her James
                                                                                                                                            Ralph