Dear Ralph: My boyfriend wants a break up.

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Dear Ralph,


My boyfriend of almost two years wants a break up because he dropped me off at home once and as he was leaving, he saw my ex coming to my house. My boyfriend does not want to believe that there's nothing between my ex and I again because he feels my ex is richer than he is so I don't want to let him go because of his money. I have told him several times that he is all I want and I'll do anything to keep him forever but he doesn't believe it. He says he does not trust me. I really do love him and these few weeks of misunderstanding has had a huge toll on me. I have lost so much weight. I have done all I can to let him know he is all I care about but it's not working.
What do I do now. I don't want to lose him.

Trixie








Dear Trixie,

       Everything is going to be fine, this issue can be sorted out. Before I give you my advice i'll like to ask a couple of questions because there are many factors that could cause mistrust in a relationship. Have you ever cheated on him? Have you shown him any signs that the material gains are what you are after? How long ago did you break up with your ex? Where the both of you s3xually intimate? Have you and your boyfriend had any misunderstandings in the past because of your male friends? Be them ex or just random people. These are a few things that could cause mistrust and lack of confidence in relationships.

First of all what you should do is to ask yourself if the friendship with your ex is worth loosing your man over. It is very hard for people to cope with their partner maintaining communication with their ex and this is because of what the two have shared in the past. The insecurity that your boyfriend is feeling in this situation because of your ex could be because of this fact. Yes the fact that your ex has more money than him could be one of the problems but I strongly believe that it isn't just about that. If you were to show him that all you want is him and not his money or that of your ex, he could believe it but still wouldn't feel comfortable knowing that you still communicate with and receive occasional visits from your ex. I really believe that his insecurity is partly based on your history with your ex. The mere thought of someone you had been close to before he came into the picture could be more frightening and intimidating than you would realize or he would even care to admit. That history you had with your ex can easily be re-ignited because he is someone that you had shared a lot with in the past and doing the same right now wouldn't take much. That could be part of the reason why your boyfriend is scared and would want to end the relationship.

If the friendship with your ex isn't worth loosing your man over then I think you should give your ex some distance. Let him know that he can't visit you freely anymore. You don't have to tell him why you are making that decision but just let him know that things have changed and that you can't be as free with him as you used to be. Your man needs to see that he is more important to you than your ex. He has to know and believe that the money isn't the problem for you. You have to show him that you are content with him and that your ex isn't as important to you as he is.

Finally as I would always advice people in relationships trying to fix things, communication is key! Talk to your boyfriend and let him tell you all his concerns. Be willing to listen and work things out peacefully with him. Show him that you are ready to drop your ex as a friend (that's if you are willing to). Do not just concentrate on your ex but find out what his real issue is, the issue you both should be tackling is the mistrust. Find out his reasons for doubting you then you both should work on it. Trust is of paramount importance in relationships.

Don't let this get you down Trixie. You are loosing weight on this and it isn't healthy. Take it easy and sort things out with your man. Everything will be okay. Don't forget to write if you need any more help okay? Welcome to the family



Ralph