Dear Ralph: My wife and our workout

Hello Raphael,
         So I took your advice and I and my wife have been hitting the gym together. I really have to thank you because I have noticed a greater bond between us. We are happier these days, her energy levels are higher at night. heheheeh and  we also spend more time together. I have another issue now and it has to do with our workout routine. Usually when we get to the gym, we stretch, do some running and I'll go lift weights while she does stomach exercises. Recently she started lifting weights just like me. Not the same Kg that I lift of cos but with the way she is going I won't be surprised if she starts lifting higher weights than me.
I told her that she needs to stop and that I do not want a woman who will compete in muscle with me. Not for anything o! I just don't want her to be muscular but she doesn't listen. She says that weights won't make her muscular, I don't even know how she came up with that one. Anyway if you recall I told you in our earlier discussion that she is very stubborn and never listens. Now this her new found love for weights is causing issues again for us in the gym that we used to be happy to go together to. Please how do I handle this? I don't want her to look like a female version of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks again for all the help Raphael. I await your reply patiently.

                                                                                                                                                  Kennedy
















Dear Kennedy,
         I am glad to hear that you both have sorted out the previous issue and are getting along fine now. Nothing makes me happier than to know that I have successfully righted a wrong in a relationship. I encourage you both to keep growing and building your love for each other.

As for this new issue that has come up. I need you to know that there is a way you can regulate this. First of all you need to allow her lift those little weights that she lifts for now because actually as long as she keeps it at a minimal weight, she wouldn't bulk up like a man. She can still build lean and firm sexy muscles without growing huge and bulky. Remember that her eating pattern plays a major role in this and not just the exercise. So as long as she lifts the small weights and keeps up a moderate eating habit, you have nothing to be afraid of.

What you can do to prevent her from going overboard with this is actually educating her. Seeing that she is the type of lady who doesn't always listen to everything you have to say. I'll say that she needs reasons before she believes anything. From what I gathered in our last discussion, she simply objects to things that aren't clear to her. Believe me that is a good thing, although yes it has its own negative effects. So educate her and show her how she might get if she lifts bigger weights. Show her the pic I have attached below. Let her know that if she keeps increasing the weights that she lifts that she would end up like that. I think all she really needs is proof of what you are trying to say.

Finally I must say to you, do not let go of this new activity that is helping build the both of you physically and emotionally. It is having a positive impact on your relationship so find a way to work around the little issues that you two are having. Be a little patient and explain things better to her. Remember everybody has a way that you can use to get to them, it's all about your manner of approach. I am happy for the both of you, keep growing and learning how to love each other more and more everyday. Do not stop here, look for other things you can do together. Don't forget to look at the pic below.

                                                                                                                                                         Ralph