Dear Ralph: Should I tell him i'm pregnant

Hello Ralph,
      To say that I am glad to discover your blog would be a big understatement. I am writing because I am confused on what to do next about my situation is going to be an even bigger understatement. I have been seeing my bf for about 4 years now and we have been intimate for 1 year. Funny enough he was the one saying that he didn't want to get intimate and wanted to preserve me for marriage. I was the one that initiated and succeeded in getting him to treat me more like a woman in our bedroom. Recently I decided that we try to do it without any protection because it feels better. As usual he put up a fight and went against it but when I got angry he allowed us do it. He also advised that I take some birth control pills after and I agreed but later didn't take any. Honestly it was friends that told me that I shouldn't bother with it that it will cause issues for me in the future.
Now here is where the problem starts. It's been 2 weeks and counting since I was meant to see my period. I don't know if to tell him that I am pregnant because I am really scared that I might be. He warned me when I asked for unprotected s3x that if I got pregnant he was going to leave me. Now I am afraid that if I am actually pregnant that he will actually leave me. I don't know what to do. Should I tell him? Should I keep or remove the baby? How do I live with myself if I remove it? How would I make him stay if I keep it? I am just really tired of thinking. Please help me out here. I do not want to loose my bf, he is a really nice and perfect man for me. Thank you

                                                                                                                                                Cassandra










Dear Cassandra,
         First of all you might want to try a home pregnancy stick test. Just to know where you are standing before you start making any conclusions on the state of things. I don't think it is possible to determine if you are really pregnant after just two weeks of missing your period. It might just be an irregularity in your system or many other factors. Just make sure to go to a doctor and confirm medically what the problem might be and if you are really pregnant. Get these things out of the way first before you start worrying any further. For all I know you might be worrying for nothing.

If at the end of the day you really are pregnant. I need you to just take it easy and look at your pregnancy as a blessing that came in an unexpected way. Please do not think of terminating it because you could put yourself in harms way. I'll really advice that you just totally erase termination from your mind. You will have to come out and tell him (your bf) that you are pregnant if eventually you are. Things like this aren't things that you can just keep to yourself or else you plan on raising a child alone. Truth be told, he might be angry at first but there is a possibility that he would still accept you and his baby. So do not let the fear of his reaction push you into doing something you might regret.

If after all you really aren't pregnant then use this as a lesson. I know it's good to act free and just do something daring every once in a while but you have to do what you can handle. If you do not want a baby yet then don't risk it. Try to be protected. Good thing is that you have a guy who is willing to take the right steps with you. So just think of this as an early warning of what might happen. When you both get married it's going to be more fun exploring without the rubber. So save the surprise and thrill for after marriage, that way it would be more interesting. Let the expectations build and use that to build a stronger bond after marriage.

I really hope everything works out well for you. Do not be scared. Just take your time, confirm if you really are pregnant, talk to your man and learn from this experience. Everything is going to be okay. Don't give yourself any extra headache for now, just write back to me if there is any new development and i'll always be willing to help. Welcome to the AskRalph Fam.

                                                                                                                                                       Ralph