Dear Ralph: I am attracted to married women

Good day Ralph,
          Ever since I was young I have always found myself attracted to older women. I have been with a couple of them even,although nothing serious, just mostly intimacy and friends with benefit stuff. As I grew older I tried to get into different relationships and I really tried my best but it never seemed to work out. But each time I meet a married woman, we just have this automatic connection and its like something clicks in us and we flow. As you can guess things never last long but mostly because she has to keep going back to her family and its just a matter of time before I can't take it anymore or she has to go back fully to her family and leave me then everything breaks off.
I have had about 5 girlfriends that are my age, younger than me and about a year older than me but nothing could work with any of them. I have have been with 4 different married women and regardless of how things end, I can say that those have been the best experiences of my life, both emotionally and physically. I do not know how to handle this because telling these women to leave their homes to be with me might not work and even if it works I don't think I would be happy with that. And then even if the topic of leaving their home for me never comes up then it means they eventually have to go back still. Do not see me as an irresponsible person, I am very responsible and I admit that this is a flaw but I want to do something about it. How do I begin to accept younger people and leave the older ones alone. I will appreciate your help as you have helped others.

                                                                                                                                               Anonymous















Dear Anonymous,
         I am glad that you are at least trying to make an improvement. Personally the only problem I see in this is that you are going after women who already have homes, it means that if things get out of hand you would be responsible, please you do not want to be responsible for destroying any persons home, the karma could come back to bite you tomorrow so please you need to be really careful. Save yourself the drama and embarrassment that could come with this. There are so many things it could be that attracts you to married women, it might not necessarily be  the fact that they are "married", or else this is just a fetish of yours, then we can say this is purely physical and not emotional.

It could be the fact that these women are already another persons responsibility. There are men that find it easier like that since she has to be taken care of by another man they do not have to bother much about anything, things seem easy to them. In your case obviously you might not know that this is what is actually happening with you, so you need to check yourself well and find out if this is the reason why you prefer them. But let me give you a couple of more things you could think about.

It could be the fact that they are more responsible, are independent and already have a direction that they are headed in life. Unlike the younger ladies that are still struggling to find themselves, most of the older ones already have something they are pursuing or doing already. They seem to be more focused and juggle more responsibilities, so naturally you tend to admire them more. They seem to be less troublesome because they hardly depend on you and they can pull their own weight plus their mind is focused on something far bigger. It could also be the level of interaction and the kind of topics you discuss with them. You would find out that these older ladies tend to have more serious topics on their lips and if you are to bring up any thought provoking subject you would find that they mostly have something productive and meaningful to contribute. It could be that they even drive and push you to achieve better things and become a better person.

The final point I want to raise is on the physical aspect. Naturally we expect that ladies that have been married or older at least have more experience when it comes to bedmatics. They seem more free to explore more things and give you what you want, the way you want it. Also the general idea of having "a cougar" is a big current to most mens light bulb, if you know what I mean. So this could be part of the reason that you find yourself more attracted to these ladies.

The thing is that while there a fewer younger ladies that might possess these features that I have described above. You cannot say that they do not exist at all, there are many young ladies out there that would engage you beautifully in a battle of the minds and fulfill every other criteria you might have in your head for your dream woman. There are certain young ladies that, with the level they use to speak,  you begin to question their age group. It's just a matter of finding them.
   If you still strictly want an older person or you are just simply fascinated by the idea, then you should also consider the older women that are single. There are many out there and your woman could be out there waiting for you among them. Probably you are the reason the person is still single, So go look for the single ones and you might be surprised who you would meet.If it works out then you would get equal satisfaction and not destroy a home at the same time, you see? Everybody wins if things work out this way.

Please just try and stay away from the married ones. It wouldn't be fair on the husbands and the children. You would find someone sooner than later, just analyze yourself more with these points to know what you truly want and why you seem attracted to the older ladies. Take care for now..

                                                                                                                                                         Ralph