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Tuesday 7 July 2015

Dear Ralph: Why is he acting this way?






The famous DEAR RALPH section of AskRalph blog is dedicated to real people with real life struggles. Click the link to 'read more'. Feel free to contact me by using the email form you will see when you CLICK THIS LINK  or writing directly to my emails raphaelsblogg@gmail.com or askralphblog@gmail.com if you have an issues you want me to discuss. I would also want to encourage everyone that reads to drop their comments and inputs on the issue. Feel free to object or support any advice I give and drop your own thoughts. It's all in the best interest of the poster and the AskRalph family as a whole. So lend your advice and support through the comments section. It'll be really helpful to the poster. This is one of the main reasons I opened this blog. If you are reading this then I look forward to your participation. Ralph does not....I repeat DOES NOT have all the answers so your opinion counts a lot.... Alright let's do this!








Dear Ralph,

        A very goo day to u. I have a bf, we started well and communicated regularly. I was even planning to pay him a visit during my official leave come August and he was so happy about that, although he lives in another State entirely from mine but we are both in Nigeria. All of a sudden, he no longer call, sends whatsapp or any message @ all. I tried my best to ask why the sudden change from him and he replied that he has so many things in mind,but refused to tell me. I got tired and deleted his phone number and whatsapp page. Please, post this anonymously to your members to help me out. Thanx a lot.



Deborah (not real name)









Dear Deborah,


           Fall outs with your partner could be really frustrating right? Especially when those misunderstandings are born out of him leaving you out of the details in his life. That is the reason why you are there, to share in his troubles and advice him when you can. However I would beg you to calm down a little more. Perhaps you acted with a little lack of patience, although it depends on how long you have tried to get him to tell you what the problem is and how long he has been resisting.

I know you have tried before but is it possible to try again but with a little more patience this time? Do not just easily wipe him off from your contact. Instead show him how interested you are in his issues, how willing you are to help and how pointless it is for him to keep you around as a girlfriend when he won't let you into the things he is going through. Sometimes it isn't always easy to speak up and tell people our problems, even the ones we love. Trust me when I say this, it "Might" not be his intention to leave you out. He might just be finding it really difficult to open up to you. Reacting the way you did, especially if he really had a lot of things going through his mind only shows that you are more concerned for the way you feel and not the issues that he is going through. If truly he has been going through a lot then this is when he needs you most even without him knowing it. It might be frustrating for you but the best thing to do is to stand by him right now, be patient for him and let him open up to you in his own time. It isn't a guarantee that he will open up but sometimes that's just the way it is, sometimes you don't want to explain anything to anybody, no even the ones you care the most about, all you want is for them to be present. If there hasn't been any other issue then don't abandon him right now.

I don't know if you both have been having issues or if there has been suspicions of any sort from you because you didn't include any of that in your message. However if there are suspicions then I would suggest that you bring it up with him and talk it through with him. Deleting his number and possibly ending the relationship this way isn't going to solve the issue. Please be a little patient with him and sort through this issue. Everything is going to be okay.

This is just my own opinion and in case you have anymore information you can always write to me. It will help me understand the situation more and give you the best advice I can. Try to fix things in your relationship dear. The rest of the family will offer their own help okay? Take care and welcome to the family.


Ralph







Labels: ,

posted by Unknown @ 13:50   15 Comments

15 Comments:

At 7 July 2015 at 19:09 , Blogger Unknown said...

Dear poster deleting his contact from your phone was not really a wise decision but on d other hand you said and I quote " I tried my best to ask why the sudden change from him and he replied that he has so many things in mind,but refused to tell me" I wld assume by this statement you have really really tried to find out wats wrong but he does not want to open up. I'll say you should be a lil patient with him but if d going gets tough and he does not want to open up, instead of dying in silence and getting angry, sit him down and ask him straight up if it is the many things in his mind that is causing him to shut you out or stop calling, texting etc. or if he is no longer interested in the relationship so you know. It may be hard to ask but its better for you to know instead of staying in the dark plus put it in prayers. Good luck

 
At 7 July 2015 at 21:11 , Blogger Thelma's cake world said...

Dear deborah...stay calm and don't get yourself stress unnecessarily,no matter how busy a man claims to be,they still make out time for the one they love..two tins are involved here,its either he's truly busy as he claims or he's tired of the rship hence giving xcuses to opt out...either ways,occupy yourself and lbefore you know what,the right person wud come along..
*hugsssssss debby.

 
At 7 July 2015 at 21:57 , Blogger Anu Funke said...

Patience is key dear!!

 
At 8 July 2015 at 00:01 , Anonymous haaj said...

Every relationship is faced with one trial or the other. The best ones are worth fighting for. If he treats you right and what you have with him is good, a little more patience could just be the key. If after giving it your best and it stil doesn't work, then you know for sure that it doesn't.

 
At 8 July 2015 at 06:14 , Blogger Unknown said...

Oh dear poster you acted so fast,unless if you have any other thing bothering you about him that you didn't write here.
To me you would have first of all be patience his strange behavior might be against some thing else you no guy's.i've done that year back'when i was in relationship the girl thinks that my behavior is because of her without knowing that i have an issue with some people just i don't want to be botherd,i want to be left alone for some time before gathering my self.it may be some thing like that.
he need's you now ,to me you have make up your mind by deleting his number i don't see the reason of asking Mr Ralph for advice?you have to go back to him even if he behaves strange take it as a priority for now and don't give up always be patience because it is the key to successful relationship and marriage with longsuffring.

 
At 8 July 2015 at 08:01 , Anonymous Samson said...

Freeborn abeg na. Punctuation and spelling. I am using God almighty to beg you. I love reading comments but your own wounds me. Na God I take beg you....no be insult na pleading

 
At 8 July 2015 at 08:14 , Blogger Unknown said...

Samson or what ever i read comments too.are you here because of freeborn or what cause i have not see any of your comment here before.
Dickhead no he insult!!!

 
At 8 July 2015 at 08:14 , Blogger Unknown said...

freeborn don't mind the fool.

 
At 8 July 2015 at 08:19 , Blogger Unknown said...

Dear Deborah.go back to your boo an ask him what his problem is!!

 
At 8 July 2015 at 08:23 , Blogger Unknown said...

Lmaooooi.guy's my blog is back again.Ralph publish what i sent to you naa...........''''''''....... are we fighting or what Ralph!

 
At 8 July 2015 at 09:00 , Anonymous Samson said...

You ran away because the giveaway didn't get to you. Freeborn we all know this is you. You aren't fooling anybody my brother. I have investigated and found you out. Your English is as horrible as his own and you are as impatient as him. Freeborn wants to win giveaway with two accounts

 
At 8 July 2015 at 09:08 , Blogger Unknown said...

Lol! All dis drama eh

 
At 8 July 2015 at 09:55 , Blogger Unknown said...

Samsaon or what ever you call your self i have seen guys,i have being in blogs before you were born .you say i ran because of giveaway that shows how daft an stupid you are,i've being commenting on this blogs over a year now if you are not blind kindly go through Mr Ralph article's an check if you won't see my comment.as for you and your giveaway am bigger than it.
That am commenting here we not lower my standard here in niger delta were i come from ralph blog is not my first blog experience. I have started commenting on blog's like sandra an co before linda ikeji ladun mimi jennifer niyi accelerate.
Miss amaka,liala,don,bunmi,rauzyahmadu,conny,jesman,idnea and co i invited them here which some are anonymous or visitor's why some are bloggers so swallow up your shame incase you are stupid as your father which i know you came from a hopeless poverty striken background full of evil that makes you to chase some one who don't have your time that don't even know whether you are existing or not.
If you are wise as you claim why not give account of guys you have invited here than sitting there yabbing rubbish like your father.i am freeborn zina chinda from bonny island and one of the son of chief s.k.chinda exchairman of p.d.p and local government chairman and the owner of gtecoil River state in ndoni and other places and assistant to late oronto douglas so my dear am not here for the giveaway that makes you a fool's daft an mad.
The first giveaway of ralph is 10k which i withdraw and spend all of them on drink's so for peace to reign better face your poverty striken self.you have being attacking me all the time as if you know me or have come in contact with me why is out of wickedness,envy and jealousy shame to you.you can visit my website or facebook an see me hahahahahahaha i was train up in a God fearing home of muslim and christian.
I love ralph's blog the outrageous word i receive from you and your cohort here we not stop me.
So chill an face your useless imbecilic life or rather jump into lagoon.

 
At 8 July 2015 at 11:11 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please can the both of you stop arguing? This isn't about the both of you, you have deviated everybody's attention from the topic and the person asking for help. The both of you should behave! Ralph please look into this, it's not right.

-Silent Observer-

 
At 11 July 2015 at 09:22 , Anonymous Mike said...

Deborah,

The answer is very simple. You have done the right thing, you have shown him that it is unacceptable for him to treat you that way and you will not tolerate it. He can not take out whatever he is going through on you. Now if he truly wants you in his life, he will fight to get back in it. Men chase what they want, period. It is that simple. If you don't hear from hI'm again or he doesn't push to have you back, you just saved yourself a lot of future hassle
It's really very simple. Men are simple creatures, when we truly love you, we will fight for you, we will never let you go just like that and we won't push you away without an explanation. Once we start acting like we are no longer interested, it is because we are no longer interested and we usually respect girls like you who don't take such rubbish from us. Please not if you come back begging after deleting him, he will never respect you, he immediately knows he has you wrapped around his fUnger and will start to behave even worse. Goodluck.

 

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