Dear Ralph: Her effect on me

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Dear Ralph,
       This is really embarrassing but if I do not get a grip on what is going on it will be more embarrassing for me to keep living like this. Look, I am very good in bed, there is no two ways about it. Every lady I have been with testifies when I touch them. I know what I am doing down there and all over. Now you can imagine my embarrassment when I met my dream girl. I have been chasing this girl since when she was dating someone else. She is the perfect wife material for me and luckily for me, her ex boyfriend gave me the chance and I seized it. We have been together for 6 months and have been s3xually active for about 2 months now. The problem is when I am with her I can't last up to 5 minutes. The moment she gets close to me and we get at it I almost feel like releasing immediately but I use all the control and distraction I can to last for the 3 minutes or there about. It is really embarrassing for me because I have been trying to get this girl to know how good I am and before we started I used to tease her of how she won't be able to stand me. The days I manage to last for a long time, she still won't finish before me. I just keep going and going till I run out of breath. It's now like she is defeating me and it's pushing me away from making love to her. I am really confused on what is going on and was hoping you could help me out with a couple of tips and tricks I could use to get things right again. At least an advice on how to go about this or on what is happening will be okay. Ladies can be very complicated. Thank you.




Love Doc







Dear Love Doc
     
There are a whole lot of things that you need to realize about women. Every single one of them is unique and what works for one might not work for the other. Yes, you have met a couple of women that have been pleased by your bedroom skills but there are still exceptions and I feel this your lady is one of those exceptions. I would advice that you treat her like a different lady and try to get to learn her instead of feeling that you know everything that there is to know already. Having that kind of mentality is going to prevent you from learning what you have to learn from her. Take your time with her. Also a general mistake that couples make both the Ladies and the men is that they see s3x as a competition for who would outlast the other. That doesn't help at all. This should be fun and pleasurable for the both of you and you should use that time to learn each other and not to compete. This is one area of life where competition doesn't help teach you. It is good that you want to please her but you have to start taking your time to learn her instead of competing with her.

Another thing that I know that happens to people, especially when they are in love with a person is performance anxiety and tension. I think you are too focused on trying to impress her with your skills and that is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. It takes the fun right out of the whole thing. It also gives you performance anxiety especially after a series of "disappointing" performances. Do not see it as an embarrassment if you do not perform well. Instead what you should do is to concentrate on giving and receiving pleasure. It has to be both ways believe me because if only one person ends up happy all the time, in the long run, the person that is always left hanging will end up frustrated. Early release is sometimes caused by performance anxiety so stop pressuring yourself. Since you are very much in love with her, performance anxiety is bound to be higher when it comes to your case. What you should do is instead concentrate on building the bond that you both have outside the bedroom. Do not focus only on what happens in the bedroom. To have the best bedroom experience what you want to do is to build love outside the bedroom first and you will see how much it will affect your s3x life.

Honestly bro just take your time with her. The truth is that 3 years can pass and you would still have a whole lot to learn about the body of a lady and how she responds. Do not use your past encounters to judge her. Learn her personal touch and flavor. Learn how to please she in particular. She is the one you are with and not all those other ladies you have been with. I think it's time for you to learn her. You are going to be fine, ladies can be complicate but they aren't impossible. You see the complication in them? that's what makes each of them unique and beautiful. If it was that easy then any guy can come and snap his fingers and she would melt for him. Crack her code on your own and hold the code to yourself.

Finally I just hope your exes weren't faking it and making you believe you were moving mountains when you weren't doing anything. Just think of it though, not like it matters now.



Ralph