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Thursday 26 February 2015

Dear Ralph: Help! My boyfriend is engaged



Dear Ralph,

I am having this problem that I need you to help me out with. I have this guy that I have been dating for 2 years now. I love him very much. The problem is that this guy has another girl he has been dating for 8 years now. I didn't bother at first but along the line he also asked my sister out. I was heart broken when I found out but he begged and I forgave him because I still love him. Now the girl he is dating uploaded on her Facebook that she is engaged. She changed her last name to his family name. I am so confused on what to do.
Each time he travels to Delta he will change and start having problems with me because the girl stay there in Delta while I stay at Ibadan. There was this time i asked him to introduce me to his family and he broke up with me saying that I am in a rush to get married. I told him that I am not in a rush that I am only 21 years old and still in school with no job. Each time we have a misunderstanding he calls me a harl*t and says a lot of things that I don't want to mention. If I ask him for money he always says that he can't and brings up all sorts of stories. I am really confused and I don't know what to do, please help. I have tried to love other people but I never seem to be able to forget him.

                                                                                                                                                          Rita








Dear Rita,

The first thing you have to know is where you stand in the relationship. I always say that however you keep your relationship and whatever you permit in your relationship, that is how it will be. You have to know if you are okay with being the second girl in your relationship.

First of all I want you to know that if the other lady doesn't know who you are then there is no reason for her to tease you or try to pull your legs on Facebook by uploading a false engagement picture or status. There is a 'possibility' that she is actually engaged to him. I think you should talk to him and find out where you stand in the relationship. Now I know you might wonder why you should talk to him when he could easily deny it. What I mean is that you should just ask him then watch his reactions, it's left for you to know if he is actually telling the truth or lying about the situation. It isn't just about the answer he gives you, it's more about your knowledge of his character and if you know when he lies to you. So I suggest that you do this face to face and not just over the phone or via instant messages. Also it is best for you to find out now because if you only rely on your love and trust for him which has been constantly broken over and over again, you might get disappointed again. This time it might come as a bigger shock to you that you might not be able to easily recover from. So go ahead and talk things out with him face to face and know where you stand.

It won't be easy for you to just let go. Things like this take time especially seeing that it is someone that you are very much in love with. So if you do decide to break things off, you will need to give yourself some serious time out away from him. At least to be able to regain your resolve and stamina to stand on what you know is good for you.

I would really advice you. Treat relationships the way you would like to be treat. What I mean is that if you do not want to be a second chick then don't settle for that. It's good to follow your heart but also remember to follow your head also. The heart and the head should work together if you know what I mean. Take care and I hope you sort this out as soon as possible. Find out if he is really engaged.

                                                                                                                                                       Ralph

Labels: ,

posted by Unknown @ 12:38   3 Comments

3 Comments:

At 26 February 2015 at 20:57 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

hian!! ure obviously d side chic. Id advice u to run as fast as ur legs can take u.
I know aw it feels cos i was once in ur kinda shoe. He ad a babe b4 me ryt from schl bt den luv blinded my eyes jst like its doing to u. Infactt he bot me same tins he bot her m even engaged us both...lol. but at d long run na me loose ooo!!
so my dear dere r beta guys out dere jst open ur heart n luv wld come knocking again. dnt b like me dt wasted 5yrs on top iranu. Wish u all d best dear

 
At 27 February 2015 at 11:33 , Blogger Examoracle said...

Hi Rita,

Your story is so pathetic dear, but I must say that the handwriting on the wall is so clear. It is not the type of writing king Nebuchadnezzar received "MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN”, not Greek nor Latin, so you can read it clearly – he doesn’t love you.

Your choice in a spouse is one of the most important decisions you will ever make and It’s also one of the few that so greatly impacts the rest of your life. So, be careful.

A good life partner is a gift from the Lord. So have faith and hold on to God in prayer because God himself is the source of perfect will for you in marriage. You can’t do it yourself because you don’t know the heart of men. The bible says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9). I don’t know what is in the heart of any man and I’m sure you don’t know it either. But the Spirit of God knows the heart of everybody and He will reveal it to you.

You may think you can’t love any other person, but that is a lie from the pit of hell. When you find your true love, the fellow will love you more than you do and you will be jolly always.

Order my Book - "the Other Woman". It stressed on issues like this.

Best regards.

Israel O. Ugbo
israelugbo@gmail.com

 
At 3 May 2015 at 19:38 , Blogger Thelma's cake world said...

Poster,wake up and smell the coffee,ure in a rship with urself!!,ur so called bf's attention is fixed elsewhere,kindly do urself a big favour and walk out of that situationship ure in,that's just the honest truth!!

 

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