Dear Ralph: Should I sleep with my married friend to hurt my cheating boyfriend (update)

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Hi Ralph,

Thanks for your response, funny thing is whatever it is/was I felt for my married friend is fading out, I took your advice and stayed away from him for a while, and I haven't seen him up until now as I write to you, though we chat once in a while but not like we used to. I realized it was all because of the emotional trauma I was going through, I honestly don't know if I would have been able to forgive myself if I had let anything happen between the both of us, because it's not who I am.


Yes I have forgiven my boyfriend but I haven't forgotten, and yes I want to forget about this whole incidence. I know it will take time but I am trying to let go, I noticed he has deleted her number and also deleted her from his BBM,(maybe she was the one who deleted him) which means he feels remorse. But the issue is that this lady attends same church with me, and I keep seeing her, and whenever I see her, I keep thinking about all the things I am trying to let go. I sent him a message to tell her to stop coming to that church when I saw her during service last week but he replied and said I should just let go and that he doesn't have any ties with her anymore. Should I stop going to that church ( I love worshiping there, plus it's closer to my place) or confront her and tell her to be ashamed and look for somewhere else to worship? My healing process won't be easy if I keep seeing her. And yes u can treat as a fresh topic.

                                                                                                                                              Worried Girl







Dear Worried Girl,
       I am really proud of the way you are handling this, I must say I am happy to hear that you have gotten over this. I am glad you realized the mistake you would have made before making it. And as you said about forgetting, it's going to take some time so just give yourself a while and it would only be a faded memory before you know it.

As for the other lady, I think you should forget about her. I don't think you should confront her or try to tell her anything directly. It is going to be hard but you will get used to it. Your presence alone and being happy with your boyfriend.,The simple fact that you are carrying along fine without showing her any sign of grudge or hostility should be enough to take care of everything. It is hard to take this road but you have to know that it's the higher road. Any kind of embarrassment could come out of confronting her and you might end up regretting it. Also, she has every right to worship in that church also, so I don't think you can exactly tell her to stop coming there.

I also don't think you should just leave the church because of her. My reasons being mainly because of how convenient it is for you. Any inconvenience you feel right now could easily bounce back and you would end up blaming your boyfriend or being mad at him all over again. Meaning that there could be another issue between the both of you again. So just think about letting the whole thing go generally. It really isn't easy taking all this advice, I know but just think about it for some time. Spend more time in trying to heal and getting in good terms with your man again. But if you see that you just can't stand her presence then I would also understand if you decide to move. Just take your time and calculate what you feel you can handle.

Your healing process won't be easy through these means, but the wounds would surely heal better this way. Just take your time okay? Everything is going to be alright.
Grab a drink from our Ask Ralph fridge for your progress so far. Lol. Take care for now and I hope very soon you won't be a worried girl anymore.

                                                                                                                                                      Ralph