Dear Ralph: Should I sleep with my married friend to hurt my cheating boyfriend

Dear Ralph,

I am going through an issue but didn't break up in this case, I found out my bf of over 4 years was cheating on me. I have evidence yet he denies it, I'm sure because of his ego he can't just admit that he did it, we argued and quarreled about it. During the period of this issue I met a young married guy, I was lonely, angry, upset and needed someone to talk to. I vented everything to him and he advised me to forgive my bf and that it's his ego that won't let him admit and apologize. He would help suppress my anger when I'm furious and want to do something crazy, he was really helpful during this period. He would always chat me up to be sure I'm doing fine and ask if we've made up and when I say no he'll tell me to call my bf and tell him it's okay that I forgive him.
To cut long story short, I am now having a thing for him, though he warned me to be very careful that I can be vulnerable at a time like this, not knowing he is the one I'll be attached to. Now he too is attached to me, knowing all what I went through,we were so close to having sex some days ago, I really have this strong urge to let him have me, I can't stop thinking about him. I made love with my bf once after we made up but I was thinking about my married friend all through out, I don't know how I'll feel afterwards knowing I have never slept with a married man once or cheated on my bf. I don't know what will happen after we do it once, don't know if we'll want more, but my bf cheated on me and I feel like getting even with him. He really did hurt me because I know the lady he cheated on me with, though he apologized but I just feel I'll only be able to forgive him totally and forget about the whole thing after I make love to my married friend. I'm really into this guy and he's quite young and sweet, I can't go a day without hearing from him, maybe if I just do it with him once I'll also feel bad and close all chapter with him.
Please I need your advise you can drop it on the comment session in this story I'll come check it tomorrow. Thanks alot, you're really doing a good job.

                                                                                                                                        Worried Girl















Dear Worried Girl,
         You should understand that right now, because of the pain you feel from your situation with your boyfriend you might be acting without considering possible consequences. I know it's bad what happened to you but I want to ask you to calm down and think about this situation for a minute before you do anything.

You are missing one point which is this, your friend is married. By sleeping with him, you aren't going to be just getting back at your boyfriend or fulfilling your urges. You are actually going to be causing a damage in his home. He has a wife and maybe children, he is already with another woman so I would ask that you don't let your situation lead you into causing a problem for his own home. It won't be fair on his wife would it? So I think you should think of his own family first before anything.

I think that if you check yourself very well, you will find out that it is not as much as about getting back at your boyfriend as it is about fulfilling your physical needs. I think you have fallen for him because of the care he has shown you at this time of emotional vulnerability. But then your mind wants to justify your thoughts by tagging your possible actions as "a revenge" on your boyfriend. But look well and realize that it's a lot more than that now. You need to stay calm and think about this well.

My advice would be that you should try and give yourself some time away from both your boyfriend and this your married friend. A little time to figure out things and clear your head. Chances are that the feelings that you have for this your friend are just a thing of the moment. Once you get yourself and you are emotionally stable again, there is a chance that you might not be as in love with this your friend as you are right now.
   Also remember that two wrongs will never make a right. An eye for an eye isn't the best solution in this situation. Instead of letting the things that happen in a relationship change you, I suggest that you take your time away from the relationship to remind yourself of who you really are. Because think of it, if you sleep with someone today to get back at your boyfriend and he sleeps with three other people tomorrow, would you still keep trying to compete with him? Instead just remember who you want to be and don't soil yourself because of the problems you face today.

Just take it easy and take your time to read through this and digest what I had to say. Consider the family of your married friend, consider his wife and possibly kids. Do not let your personal desires lead you into destroying another home. If his wife leaves him tomorrow because of it, you would be guilty for that and there is no guarantee you both would be happy if you decide to be together.
    Take your time and get emotionally stable again before making any decisions. If you cannot carry on with your present relationship or if it isn't health for you then either try to find the problems with your man and fix them or leave the relationship. But do not change to who you are not or someone you won't be proud of because of this.

Hope you make the right decision here dear. Take care for now. Please remember to write if you need any extra assistance.

                                                                                                                                                        Ralph