Dear Ralph: Is this normal please

Hello Ralph,
       Abeg let me ask you. My girlfriend and I have been quarreling over something recently. It is she and her so called best friend that is a guy. This guy knows me and knows that I am dating her and according to her there is nothing going on between them. She has an attitude that after talking to the guy they end the call by saying "I love you" and "I love you too" depending on who is loving the other first at that point. This thing pisses me off so much and we have been fighting over this particular issue. I have spoken to the guy and gotten to know him a little and guy I won't lie to you, I am not into guys but this guy fine. Me, I am afraid because he could be my babes "under G" runs.
On a coded level sha because you know how guys of these days can be. I do not want to ask the guy anything because if he is doing anything with her, he wont tell me. This is because he already knows that I and my girlfriend are a thing. I have warned her to stop it but according to her she says I cannot just come into her life and make her change everything. We are 3 months old together but please does this make it okay for her to be saying I love you to another person? I have searched this your blog up and down and have tried to see if there is even a hint of someone else with this kind of problem and haven't found any. I have decided to come and ask you my self, Please is this normal? Because although they say it in front of me, these people could be taking me for a fool. Anyway let me hear what you have to say on this matter first before saying more. Thank you very much my brother.

                                                                                                                                                    Felistus













Hello Felistus,
          There is a possibility that this is just the way they actually are with each other. I think since you have spoken to your girlfriend you should simply compose yourself and speak to this friend of hers. Depending on how familiar you are with him now though. Just forget what the outcome might be and get that out of your chest, you can decide to go with the mind that he is going to fool you, that way you would be prepared. But do not try to say anything smart or hint that you "know what they are playing at". Sometimes it's the best thing to act like you do not know. So I think you should just talk with him and you should be able to tell a little based on how he answers to you.

I also think you should give your girlfriend some time, let the relationship get a little bit older, maybe almost a year if possible. Then speak to her again about this and have her know that you remain uncomfortable with her saying that she loves someone else. You need to explain to her that since it is a fellow guy that there is no way you would be able to cope with it.

Even if there is a possibility that she is having something to do with this other man. I would advice that you do not do anything until you are absolutely sure and confirm you suspicions. Even as at then, I think you should still be calm in the way you handle it. So I guess I am telling you to be patient until you find out the truth.

I understand how uncomfortable this can be and how almost impossible what I am asking you to do can be but please just calm down and give her some time. I really hope that your suspicions aren't true though.

Wish you both the best.

                                                                                                                                                      Ralph