Q&A: Can girls make the first move

Q

Mr Steve: Ralph whats up. I want to get a quick opinion from you because I have a friend in a confusing situation. What do you think about a girl asking a guy out. I believe that's just wrong and desperate. Please share your thoughts. Should this be done? Thanks.

This question was asked by Mr Steve(not real name) in the presence of his girlfriend. So you would notice that I speak to the ladies sometimes during my writing. Please click and read...enjoy!






A: The reason that a lady would take that action is sure to vary from one individual to another. I cannot conclude and make it an absolute fact that any girl who asks a guy out is desperate. Also I personally do not see anything wrong with a girl making her mind known. As I said their reasons could vary so desperation could also be part of the reason. The thing is that because of the way things have been and what society decided should be right. You find that it is really rare for a lady to step up and speak her emotions for a guy. It is considered un-lady like and once this is done the lady is considered a 'loose chick'. While there are ladies who actually do this out of desperation you cannot always blame them. Some of we guys just can't see the interest from a lady even if it's put on a bill board. It isn't always easy to hold in those emotions. So sometimes after a series of flashes of 'green light' without any response from the guy, a lady decides to be more direct in her approach before she dies with her emotions. The consequence to this is that she is immediately labeled with the formerly mentioned tags that read 'desperate and loose'.

There also Ladies out there who are this direct without even waiting for you to notice anything from them. They are like this simply because it is their nature. They don't care what you the guy or any other person thinks of them. If you reject them fine, if you accept all fine and good. They just have to get that feeling out there and give it a chance.

The problem right here is the perception from others that you receive after such action. Those who make this bold move towards the wrong people with the wrong ideas end up regretting it. Especially if the move was made with a pure intention. A man but not all men would hardly take you serious at least in this side of the world. I don't know what happens in other countries but I gather that certain western countries are getting more used to this as of recent times. So at the end you find out that your surrounding and society plays a major role in how you are seen. Then again those who do not care of what society thinks tend to find it easier than others. I personally stand on the fact that it isn't every lady that makes a move that is after only the physical. We guys tend to believe that these ladies that do this are only after something material or just want a fling. A higher percentage of the time we are wrong about their motives. The truth is that most guys believe this more as a reason to boost their ego and pride than out of fact even if it were plane to the sight.

So the ladies should be mindful of their approach, the society they live in and know if they can live with the false image people would look upon them and see if things go south. The guys should learn to look beyond what they would want to believe and actually wait to find out who the lady is deep down. You might miss up on a wonderful lady simply because of your beliefs.

As for if it should be done? I say why not? If a lady feels like making the first move then its absolutely fine. It's a gamble yes, but not one that has never paid off even though the chances of landing a lucky number are very slim.


But these are just my thoughts. Over to you the readers...what say ye?