Dear Ralph: My Girl is the same age as I am

 

   My girl is the same age as I am, we are perfectly happy together, we plan on getting married when we are done with school and i'm established but friends are telling me that it isn't wise that by the time I would be ready to settle down it would be too late for her, I know i won't be ready right away but before meeting her I was going to wait till I was really rich before getting married, now I am considering rushing into it, what do you think I should do?
                                                                                                                                             Charles
     Dear Charles, does your girl know when you plan on getting married? or is she of the impression that it is going to happen immediately after school. Don't worry about what friends are saying for now, they have their reasons and are trying to help but set that aside first, she is the one you are dating and not them so the decision should be based on what the both of you feel is best. I understand why you would want to be rich and established before committing into any relationship but you don't have to own a mansion from the start, you can start with what little you have provided you can provide for the basic needs of you and your wife and maybe of a child if you both plan on having one early on in the marriage, a good woman would recognize your struggles and help you in achieving your goals. So get her own view on the situation and tell her your plans, you might just be worrying over nothing if she is okay with it but if not then you listen to her reasons and make new plans with her, you two should try and figure out what works for the both of you. Also remember that marriage involves the both of you so you need to start involving her in decisions you make that would affect the two of you.
   Now you might be facing other problems in the relationship which might make you feel that the age factor is the problem, like if at a point she treats you with lack of respect. Learn to recognize the problem for what it is, if it has nothing to do with age do not point at it or else you risk having your girl regret getting into the relationship at all.. There are lots of couples out there that are of the same age and are in a perfectly happy and healthy relationship so I don't see why yours should be different.